Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML
Stop_HammerTime tells us more.
The truth is actually much dumber than some of you are giving me credit for, and definitely warrants a YDI. I'd bought a few small glass things for my friends from Venice. They were all packaged so they made it off the plane fine. When I got home I put them down and started nailing up posters that I'd got in the museums on my visit. I put the hammer down on a pile of boxes while I went to get more nails, which was dumb, and it fell off onto the ornaments. The novelty postcards were all I had left.
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
alaen23 23
I really want to know the story behind this.
NicH1799 20
I'll play it out for you guys. OP is at home, chilling. Suddenly, wall caves in. Don't ask how, that's disrespectful. Never disrespect a man whose walls have caved in. Anyways, he calls his handyman friend. He comes over to fix that shit, says for free. Little did OP know, free fixes are an invitation for a hammer party. Long story short, all his friends are invited to bring hammers, run around house swinging them. One hits OP's fine china cabinet, one hits his nuts. That's my highly scientific theory, anyway.
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Comments (109)
alaen23 23
I really want to know the story behind this.
btrag97 13
So do I lol
NicH1799 20
I'll play it out for you guys. OP is at home, chilling. Suddenly, wall caves in. Don't ask how, that's disrespectful. Never disrespect a man whose walls have caved in. Anyways, he calls his handyman friend. He comes over to fix that shit, says for free. Little did OP know, free fixes are an invitation for a hammer party. Long story short, all his friends are invited to bring hammers, run around house swinging them. One hits OP's fine china cabinet, one hits his nuts. That's my highly scientific theory, anyway.
sweetest_jenn 18
#14 lay off the drugs. It's bad for you, son.
baseballbv 17
Well that's a hard situation to chisel yourself out of.
LanceGoodthrust 19
I'm guessing it was customs, assuming there were drugs inside
Brandi_Faith 34
Follow up definitely needed, although after 14's awesome play-by-play I don't think the real story would be nearly as satisfying.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
They need favorite buttons for comments
orbit 22
Luckily, #19, he has a hammer to help
NicH1799 20
#42, you the real mvp
LeashaJoy5595 28
Creative! But OP is a girl...
1two3four5six 23
Is is weird that I read #14's comment in the voice of Jules from Pulp Fiction?
Garrison21 11
Well that sucks
DoctorsDaughter 11
What happened? Why are the postcards being sent?
soulreaper12296 28
Did you read the first sentence of the FML? If you did you would know something happened that involved a hammer and the smashing of ornaments.
Daylightscar 13
Umm no where in the first line did it say the ornaments were smashed, just that a hammer related incident occurred
Daylightscar 13
Also this FML is only one sentence, so idk why you said "did you read the first sentence of the FML" implying that there is more than one sentence
gracehi 33
"Hammer related incident?" Those damn rogue hammers smashing things on their accord.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
I thought it said hamster at first
ELoni_fml 25
How do you accidentally smash your ornaments with a hammer?
CaiDog 20
I don't understand why even in this situation, you'd send novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis
LisaDay 14
im assuming OP spent quite a bit of money on the ornaments and doesnt have enough money left to replace them, but does have enough for postcards.
Nymeria_fml 25
I would think it's more because OP bought the ornaments in Italy, and she's in the UK now. Sooooo... maybe the only thing left from her trip are the postcards.
annie_nk 23
Was Captain Hammer the culprit?
Brandi_Faith 34
No, it was M C Hammer.
buckdharma 38
28- Op met M.C in Venice and asked him back to her place for some wine, and wound up getting hammered. A drunken op thought she heard,"can you touch this?" Thinking this was an amorous advance she touched that, resulting in everything in her room getting busted instead of more funky lyrics. He then made a quick escape, inadvertently forgetting his penis postcards which he had already signed,"Can't Touch This," which he had found out by spending"Hammer Time" in a Venice jail.
thomcmoore 23
Never give a street magician your valuables when they ask "wanna see a trick?"
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
You take what you can get, I guess. :/ Sorry, OP.
steveykinz0967 16
Well at least your family isn't getting those