Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
Today, my best friend decided to get herself a new puppy. My dog passed away last week. She named it the same name and got the same breed as mine was. She sees nothing wrong and can’t understand why I’m upset. In fact, she tells me to “stop being a Debbie Downer.” FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
Today, my new girlfriend has a purse dog, a chihuahua. The thing is so small, I didn’t see it, tripped over it, and my knee broke its back. It had to be put down. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
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Top comments
jaydnnx 0
what happened to the puppy???
CallMeHush 1
That is just F'ed up.
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Comments (323)
lolfaill 0
funny how we all went from the sad demise of the puppy to everyone hating snickerdoodles..
Beli_fml 0
hahahahaha
askantik 4
YDI for buying a puppy. Why buy when there are plenty that need a good home that are available for free? Hell, I don't know why I ask. We all endlessly spawn like mindless retards while starving children all over the world could be adopted and given a good home.
makc5point3vtec 0
...
wtf20007 10
how about the real perdix comments?... not this perverted little creep
Cthulu 0
THIS
makc5point3vtec 0
snickerdoodle....you seem like a person i would smack across the face because your so annoying...please refrain from any future commenting that is all -thank you-
anonmc 0
do not get her another puppy. no puppy deserves the kind of home she would give it. sheesh. who gets in a car without looking first?
fauxindigo 0
hey, snickerdoodle. your comments are worthless, and most of the time they are very obvious. so stop making yourself look like a dumbass for pointing out the obvious and go play with your barbies. kthnxbye!
shreddinthagnar 0
Oh my god. I'm sorry but your girlfriend needs to be pretty stupid to just throw herself in to your car without looking at the seat first. And you're kind of stupid for leaving it on the passenger seat. I hope the puppy didn't die. Should be animal cruelty or something. And as for all the comments about snickers, it was a good laugh. :*
cam007_fml 0
Turtles do rock.