Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Good boy
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
Nice friend you've got there
Today, my best friend decided to get herself a new puppy. My dog passed away last week. She named it the same name and got the same breed as mine was. She sees nothing wrong and can’t understand why I’m upset. In fact, she tells me to “stop being a Debbie Downer.” FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
It was an accident, I swear
Today, my new girlfriend has a purse dog, a chihuahua. The thing is so small, I didn’t see it, tripped over it, and my knee broke its back. It had to be put down. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore. FML
Unrequited callousness
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Top comments
jaydnnx 0
what happened to the puppy???
CallMeHush 1
That is just F'ed up.
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Comments (323)
cliter_dick 2
I hope it didn't die!!!
wolfishinsanity 0
FYL? F the puppy's life! You are a horrible person.
R3kli3 10
did the puppy died??
melainie 0
snickerdoodle, i think you should pût a picture of your red hair back on, the picture you had yesterday was verry sexy
HJB 0
YDI for first off, not giving her time to grieve... If your grandma died today you wouldn't throw her in a dumpster and kidnap another old lady and throw her in your basement... (I dont know why your grandma would be in the basement but it's to get the point across....) but also, why would you not stop her from sitting on it...
inthavong17 0
hahahahaha....lol
katplayer 4
YDI for buying her a new puppy right away and not even telling her first, then wrapping the poor thing in a blanket in a way that it couldn't be seen.
sobe23 0
I'm sure it happened too fast before he could stop her!!
cinnamonlu 0
You totally deserve it for BUYING a puppy and not adopting it.
timnew1108 0
your girlfriend is a puppy murder puppys don't just pass away you catoring to a phyco path