Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Mixed signals
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
Tact
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Get out of my house
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
**** your "beach body" noise
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Wow thanks, I'm cured
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Top comments
skittlesmeep 4
Tell her sex would burn more calories.
Barr3lR0ll 9
It will, but nowhere near the amount she wants.
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Comments (133)
Wealthyparrot 9
It's been said, but you can't decide to be OC. Walking through the door extra times WILL help, though.
fatboymunchys 1
Is she blonde? If she is it explains a lot.
KittyKayleen 11
You can't choose to have OCD.......
Zarazha 13
your girlfriend is an idiot.
aik 14
leave the idiot now!
Coolaidegirl 18
unless she does it for hours it probably won't work as well as she thinks but the fact that she thinks it will might actually cause her to lose weight. the mind is weird like that
Unlucky1232 20
technically she's right. Technically murder can reduce stress, doesn't mean u should even bother