Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
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Top comments
imtooshy 18
Did she also announce how sorry she was for acting like an ass? That shit isn't announcement material...it's personal. I don't think she's old enough for sex by the way she's acting.
mybarra6 17
Another FML about an unfaithful gf/bf...doesn't surprise me as much anymore...FYL OP
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Comments (100)
raymondcarrillo 3
That blows, I personally would've snapped
ravenh1979 13
Nah, she's probably just an idiot!! Lol
xKeroseneHearts 9
I like your shirt!! Haha I know it's random...
_wraith 15
What kind of dinner conversation is that? "Oh, I had a great day today, mom! I had sex for the first time! Aren't you proud of me??" That's really not appropriate. Leave your girlfriend, OP. Both because she cheated on you, and because if you ever DID have sex, she'd probably update her FB status, twitter... hell, she'd probably make a tumblr dedicated to it.
enopola 5
Maybe she meant anal virgin?
ocampo 6
****! *cough *cough
fluffycatsdad 33
That is NOT appropriate dinner conversation! F your life indeed, OP.
wvcheesehead1 9
Op was put at risk as her father may have assumed that op deflowered his little girl. Depending on her age, op may well have been nutted right at the table.
LyraAlluse 25
Maybe she doesn't know what the word really means, being naive and young. Let's give her some modicum of faith.
ultra_notorious 26
did you ask her how much she charged?