Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimate moment. However, he told me we could still keep at it while the oven preheated. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
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Top comments
jamieawhughes 9
if this isn't relationship goals I don't know what is
Dat_Class_Tho 26
And now you know she's the one you are going to marry. I fail to see the problem.
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Comments (35)
jamieawhughes 9
if this isn't relationship goals I don't know what is
Dat_Class_Tho 26
And now you know she's the one you are going to marry. I fail to see the problem.
Costales_fml 7
I don't see the problem here. I suggest you marry her before it's too late.
NicH1799 20
I marked you deserve it, because everyone deserves cookies.
bsshooter 14
agreed number 5
TexasGirl24 15
Me too XD
Inkoseh 33
This is something I'd share too! Don't want to forget a great plan in the heat of the moment!
Yudith_fml 11
Chips Ahoy... (Homer drooling).
tibtak_fml 10
YDI but in a good way ;)
Frabens 1
You came for a different reason reason other than sex ;)
HighasaCloud 46
That's the joke (fml)
udderbutter 15
Are you 12?
TiggyBonkers 32
Isn't this a meme?
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Yes, it's the nut button meme. Was thinking the same thing.
moocowmilk0 19
I don't see what the problem is she sounds perfect