Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I've been seeing this girl for three months. After asking her if she'd like to go out to eat with me, I realized that she never called me by my name, just "hey you". While we were out, I wondered what she had me saved as, so I texted her when she got up to use the restroom. It was "free food". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I was introduced to the girl my current boyfriend went out with while dating me. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Jeannie 0
If she's been calling you "Doug" for short and didn't realize that your full name was Douglas, she's an idiot. If you were being called by some other name completely and never told her your real name was Douglas, YDI.
fatman1970 25
Why the hell haven't you told her your real name?
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Comments (71)
TrekkieGirl 0
lmao....really?!?
Bloodrush 0
*facepalm*
CallMeHush 1
Did she actually think your mom named you Stretch?
Anteezy 7
I see why you kept your name a secret.
SubjectX 0
unless you go by anything other than Doug or it's derivatives, she is a moron.
smiller0789 3
Nice reading comprehension. SubjectX said "unless" OP goes by something other than Doug, his fiance is a moron. Meaning if he is called Doug, she is a moron.
S2angel 0
ahaha yeaah, i agree why you kept your name a secret xD
jujujube 0
lol
what_the_fail 0
This ^
youEQUALtosser 0
This could go either way, as the OP didn't provide sufficient information. It all depends on whether he didn't tell her, or if she's just stupid.
Twi_lover_EC 6
I agree.^
Luckster 0
So what? My legal last name is Potter, but I still go by Hyslop cause my dad's dumbass lawer didn't finish up the paperwork when gaining custody over me as well as changing my last name to his. My boyfriend didn't know until the 4th year of dating when he noticed my Credit Card says Potter. Jokes ensued after that.
allmidnighteyes 11
This wouldn't have happened had you not told her your real name was Quailman. Good going, Doug.
myfriend_youfail 3
This. My father's name is Clement Joseph, but NO ONE except my deceased grandfather called him by his first name (and only when extremely pissed off). ....Probably because Clement is such an old and weird name.
pegasus77 0
Its better than my grandfather, father and uncle. they had the same first name. My dad goes by PJ and my uncle by Tito. My grandfather is Pedro. Its weird as hell.