Anonymous
Canada
Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Lidk?ping, Sweden
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
ButtWorthSingingBout
Phoenix, United States
Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML
Today
United States
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
MaHalKiTa
United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML
DepressedCellist
Today, my boyfriend and I had band practice for our duo. I've been playing cello for almost a year and wanted to incorporate it. He picked it up for pretty much the first time and sounded surprisingly good. I was excited until I realized he sounded better than me. FML
shittysongs
Bothell, United States
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
unknown
France
Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Thanks, I guess…
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
dog got ur phone
Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
He knows his shit.
mrahhhhh 21
That guy is a champ!
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Comments (154)
KennKenn 0
Bet he can't beat FreddieW though.
opendoorclosed 8
This is not a FML, this is a ******* win.
Keyman1212 14
Don't know who the **** that is... But frankly I find this impressive, because I have this image in my mind of him not seeing the TV, and also of him trying to not piss all over himself, especially if he were drumming with both hands.
theten_fml 9
I don't think very many people piss on them selves while pooping. But anyways maybe we could start a band, I played that guitar hero game on my phone all the time when I would take a dump.
Keyman1212 14
24- Human nature is to piss while taking a dump. That'd be why someone might piss on themselves. Let's talk about something less weird/gross. So this band, can I be a groupie? And would that groupie job include sex with all band members, or are Handy J's an alright alternative for you?
Xtra_Cheddar 3
I'll be a groupie if that's the duties I have to do
VVeetard 8
That's gross as hell. Op has some decontamination work to do.
Xtra_Cheddar 3
Time for a blumpkin!!
D37H100 5
22, how do you not know FreddieW?!?
dre_bro11 12
24, if I piss while I'm taking a dump and I don't hold my dick down... let's just say it's like turning the hose on full blast and letting it go.
baby_sp00n 0
Is this all you do keynman
Keyman1212 14
59- I have a life. 65- One thing I can do is spell. It's Keyman. Not Keynman. Jesus Christ, it's there in front of you. Just copy it.
6joe9 0
#22- how would he piss on him self if he's pooping (sitting)
GardeningHoes 0
-79 I honestly don't think he tries to read the FML at all, plus his excuse sucked pretty bad too.
cgreger 1
I love Freddiew that video was great
TheNewGuy03 29
Ha, 62 -- dude, I gotta sit really far back on that shit, push down, and THEN go. Or bad things happen -- bad things that involve my pants and/or floor being covered in a liquid that isn't water. :/ ****. |the kid|
mrahhhhh 21
That guy is a champ!
nellienicole 1
Yeah I would be proud of my boyfriend if he could do that!
kings1fan 6
That shit takes talent!
rexgar2000 10
I'm gonna try the same thing with the guitar.
Laurenlou 24
I wonder if this is the same man who made wind chimes move by farting! :D Did anyone else think of that FML while reading this??
faithxoxox 1
This is more MLIA than FML.
immortal628 20
I wonder how well the toilet works as a seat while drumming. I always used a stool.
StoryOfTheYear 15
He knows his shit.
enonymous 9
I'd be more impressed if no drumsticks were used
StoryOfTheYear 15
Or if he didn't use his foot for the bass drum.
SPAIDZ 0
Oh I see what u did there
wotfukm8 18
This is the only funny poop-related pun I've seen on here. Thank you!
Lexi_Ray 5
your fiancé rocks lol :P
ejjamael 5
I agree!!!
italianbby 11
Literally :)
nikitaaomg 0
so... how is this an fml?
StopDropNRoll 11
I would definitely give this guy props. He plays drums like a boss!
Hockey_fan 0
How good was he? I'm getting 100% on expert. Beat that!...but still this man is my hero
Mysanitywins 10
Bullshit.
Hockey_fan 0
Nope, it's not check the PS3 leader boards
Hockey_fan 0
Ya know what? No matter what I say you won't believe me. But I'm not lying
TGRandom 5
I think the people that thumbed this down don't give a shit about your captivating achievements. If you want to brag, do it on myspace where no one will ever see it.
Yodaevil 4
I dont get 100% on even medium, why? I can get laid instead...
leadman1989 16
Believe it or not there are people that can do both... Infact bitches love games especially rockband and kinect games.
COCKYmanUSC 3
But can you get 100% while taking a shit? The world may never know...
COCKYmanUSC 3
But can you get 100% while taking a shit? The world may never know...
eln3mo13 8
did you really just try to one up a guy who can play Rockband drums from the shitter? you need to get out more
XxFilthyxDubxX 1
......I hope you realize your house is on the verge of getting watermeloned. -_-
Hockey_fan 0
Hey this guys good at a video game! Let's beat him up!...Gosh I can't even say my accomplishments anymore
raaawwwrrZ 8
No you cant
corrinaswan 0
Hey heres a test maybe u can get 100% here's what u hav to do SHUT THE **** UP this test is important cuz NO ONE CARES and only people WHO NEED LIVES can do that or they are using the CAN'T FAIL CHEET or LYING thanks
iloveyou1266 4
If that's an accomplishment , you need help ..
arsenicalhumor 30
If only someone said they were going to beat you up, 114. Beacause then that comment could have maybe made a teeny-tiny bit of sense. Only thing I see as violent could be your house being watermelon'd.
Wynthos 2
It's called mutitasking and you should be worshipping the very ground he walks on.
picupbart 0
or the the toilet he multitasks on...
TheNewGuy03 29
******' right.
marpay 11
That's amazing.
beebeeL 1
How is this an fml ?! Kinda, cus that is weird /: ...