Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Nah, she wasn't scared. She was marking her territory. That lion would have gotten it's ass kicked if you didn't intervene.
momov2 0
good thing you aren't a parent then. since becoming a parent I've been peed on, pooped on, vomited on, and used as a human Kleenex. Just kinda goes with the job. especially when the kid is sick
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Comments (109)
AnaBanana1918 7
The lions at my zoo don't do anything, they just lay there and do nothing.
watchitgo 4
I was afraid this was going to end with you dropping her
phayluvsdancing 6
it was probably from the luvs diapers, they don't work !
threer 30
Oh, god. I thought she was going to fall or something. Lmao.
DeadPixel4 29
I thought you were going to say that you dropped her. 0.0
WildJubeJube 16
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!!! I'm actually seeing talk live tomorrow!
Nopeitynopenope 2
I thought it was gonna say you dropped her in there! I guess what actually happened is the way better scenario. Still sucks, though.
Mcstud1y 30
Sounds like the lion king
midnight1890 17
I thought that story was going somewhere else entirely. FYL though.