Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from my cousin saying that he's gay. I was thrilled and told him that I'm bisexual. He later texted me saying that his friend took his phone and said that. He also told all of our relatives. I accidentally came out to my family. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
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Top comments
hk_fml 9
O_o why are you complaining? You have a loving family that accepts you and encourages you to be yourself! Feel lucky!
SaintJimmy 0
Am I the only one who doesn't get how giving someone a fruitcake means that you think they're gay?
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Comments (101)
SaintJimmy 0
Am I the only one who doesn't get how giving someone a fruitcake means that you think they're gay?
Luckster 0
"Fruit" or "Fruitcake" is an uncommon insult when referring to a homosexual individual.
BritishHobo 0
There's only one present they could have thought of that would have been stupider and more offensive than the cake, and that would have been a cigarette.
Luckster 0
I think that would only work in England though.
Person1233 13
You're a cigarette!
dudeitsdanny 10
The cigarette would have made this hilarious. But the OP may or may not have gotten it.
Universe_of_Time 0
Don't worry, some people assumed I am homosexual or bisexual. I actually got flirted and asked out by homosexual guys. And I am straight -_-. I understand how he feels. They should have confronted him and ask him instead of assuming he is. It's not that he considers homosexual an insult, it is that his family thinks they know him better than he does.
aback 5
Maybe quit acting all prancy, then? Get somebody to film you, then try to see where you could act more butch. You're putting out effeminate signals.
Kira_fml 0
@21, you're a ******* moron. get out your mommy's house and into the real world.
aback 5
...and you're a ******* bitch. Get your head out of your ass and smell the roses for once.
indydegrees1 0
win
hahafylop 4
aback just pwned him haha
LilaBear 2
question... how do you know they weren't just giving you a fruit cake because they thought you liked fruit cake??
newsgit 0
because who likes fruitcake?
brynnisawesome 0
I never tried it...
gajodirecto 0
maybe its about time to stop acting like a ****** and get a girlfriend so your family doesn't think youre gay.
FilleNoir 21
Prick
little_otter 0
maybe if you'd stop trying to deepthroat your uncle people wouldn't jump to that conclusion.
sparxva 12
Ask for a gift receipt so you can return it; you're not the first person to get a gift they don't want today.
sparxva 12
Ask for a gift receipt so you can return it; you're not the first person to get a gift they don't want today.
Calaura9 0
Ugh, they got you nasty ass fruitcake because they are cheap and don't love you. Not because they think you are gay.
Laxloverr24 0
haha hey, if things don't work out being straight, at least you know your family will except you if you turn gay.
Luckster 0
You don't "Turn gay".