Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
No laughing matter
Today, I got a text from my cousin saying that he's gay. I was thrilled and told him that I'm bisexual. He later texted me saying that his friend took his phone and said that. He also told all of our relatives. I accidentally came out to my family. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML
Uncertainty
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
Assumptions…
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
About that...
Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Supportive
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Top comments
hk_fml 9
O_o why are you complaining? You have a loving family that accepts you and encourages you to be yourself! Feel lucky!
SaintJimmy 0
Am I the only one who doesn't get how giving someone a fruitcake means that you think they're gay?
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Comments (101)
Laxloverr24 0
you can if you want to.
dudeitsdanny 10
No, not really.
Luckster 0
laxlover, do a little bit of research. It might help.
aremymind 0
@ luckster, Research would actually prove laxlover correct. Wile you can't chance your base orientation; sexual fluidity allows for the possibility of forming a relationship outside of the restrictions of your sexuality. Though of course "want" would usually come in form of "love" but can come in the form of material goods, e.g., young hot golddiggers who marry those decrepit old men. But of course, that is beyond rare. The usual form would be "I am only 'gay' for you" or 'straight' if the person was gay. It's impossible to decide to be one way or another but if the right circumstances present them self its very possible to pursue a relationship with a sex that gos ageist your base sexuality. I've herd or seen it my self about 4 times.
ugh_a_lug 7
well, women love gay guys most of the time. (like on Seinfeld when elaine met the guy dude and tried to make him straight because he was everything she wanted? haha, love that show) So.... this can be seen as a bonus if you have some qualities gay guys have, but are straight. however i agree it sucks if you are exactly like a gay guy and cant get any girls because of it and you're family believes you are. but you'll probably be able to get more girls out of it (possibly) is my guess. so many people right now would kill for a family as accepting as yours though.
TheGrammarOne 0
This is THEIR way to tell me that they know I'm gay and they accept me. Alright, look. I hate being a dreadful "Grammar Nazi", but I am really sick of the lack of education on this site. You are old enough for your family to honestly believe that you are gay, therefore you should know that it's THEIR, not THERE. Sorry to bother you guys, but this guy (OP) deserves a better education.
ugh_a_lug 7
Haha. I noticed that too!
rancidgrl13 0
I'm sorry, but I really don't see how anyone could be offended by the term "fruitcake", no matter the connotations - be it crazy, gay OR a damn cake. A word is only offensive if people give it the power to be and, obviously, his family was trying to bring him out of the closet in a nice, cute way. I mean, come one, half of my gay friends use the word "gay" in it's completely politically-incorrect form of "stupid/or unfortunate". I can't imagine that of all the derogatory words out there for gays or lesbians that FRUITCAKE is "highly offensive". Lastly, so what if his folks "got it wrong"? Laugh it off and set them straight.
Luckster 0
You must use the N word a lot too if that's your mindset.
Kira_fml 0
@39 - I agree with you that 'fruitcake' is probably not a highly offensive term to most people. but, your gay friends don't speak for the entire community. using the word 'gay' to describe things that are stupid is not in any way the same thing. apples and orange, mate.
rancidgrl13 0
Oh, yes, I must use all of the derogatory slang imaginable because it's there for me to use. If you've noticed, many people of African-American descent use the "N" word in casual conversation. Why? It takes the power out of the word. It can be meant as derogatory OR as a substitute for, let's say, "dude". HENCE, my mentioning my lesbian/gay friends who use the word in it's somewhat insulting form to reclaim it. Also, do you really think "fruitcake" has anywhere near the history or impact as "******"? I would say not. Especially since I've NEVER heard anyone use "fruitcake" to describe a gay person before. If I had, I would laugh because they're obviously just to timid or uncomfortable to say "gay". Again, the only point I was trying to make is that fruitcake is by no means imaginable insulting. Unless, of course, you really want to get pissed and insulted by it. Then, by all means, get pissed. That's your prerogative.
rancidgrl13 0
Not to mention, "gay" was reclaimed by the lesbian and gay community at some point too. At one point it was a just another word that meant something else. Much like, hmmm, I don't know... FRUITCAKE.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
'Fruitcake' or 'fruit' is not offensive. It's not like he opened up a present which said '******'. Can't you see the difference? Any word can be used offensively, but 'fruit' is not much of an insult at all. It's not the 1950's, we have much better (or worse) insults. Using 'gay' as a slang term for lame IS offensive. It's almost as bad as calling something 'retarded'. No, i'm not being overly politically correct, i'm just being a decent human being. Oh, and please stop with the 'gay friends' bit. It's so annoying.. It reminds me of those racists you see... "Oh yeah, i'm not racist, I have asian friends.. Yeah, a few darkies roll in our crew.. I kissed a jewish girl once.. But why the **** are mexicans so damn lazy?"
cutek94 0
haha your family sounds fun xD good luck trying to convince them otherwise FYL
hillaryjoyce 0
@#43: you've never heard the word 'fruitcake' used as an insult? how did you get your Ethernet cable to reach that rock you're living under, again? also- "nigga": a common word among youth of a certain demograph used colloquially to refer to one's friend. "******": a deragatory insult. plain and simple.
JanisEvans 10
Can I have the cake so?
terriibabiiix23 0
you should be grateful that you even got a gift ! i got NOTHING xmass :(
dudeitsdanny 10
=( I'm sorry. That's a bigger FML. Hopefully you at least got to spend it with loved ones, and hopefully you have your health and everything. Merry late Christmas =)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Christmas isn't about the gifts...
benw2200 0
homOWNED
Sungazing 0
You should be happy ...you have an understanding and accepting family....about (looking/acting) gay....well well....time for a personality-check! ;)