Today, my dad started Skype-ing with his long-distance friend. They’re both almost 90, barely have their hearing, and can't stop shouting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML
Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML
Today, my dad answered his Skype call by insisting he wasn’t giving me any more money. Thing is, I had been about to ask for money, again. I tried to open a shop in the middle of a pandemic, and I’m 4 months late on rent and utilities. I ended the call so he wouldn’t see his grown son crying. FML
Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML
Today, my boyfriend logged onto his old Skype account from 2012 to nostalgically look back at some old gaming chats. He started bawling when he came across his now-deceased online friend’s profile and reminisced about the good times. The whole chat consisted of the ‘N word’ sent back and forth. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML
Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML
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Top comments
TinScarecrow 15
Aww that's sweet. I hope at 90 I have a holographic projection of a long distance friend to shout at
ojoRojo 27
Annoying? Yes. Endearing? Also yes.
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Comments (4)
TinScarecrow 15
Aww that's sweet. I hope at 90 I have a holographic projection of a long distance friend to shout at
ojoRojo 27
Annoying? Yes. Endearing? Also yes.
millsjoshua949 12
Geez. Your dad is cool that he even knows how to Skype. ydi