Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
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Top comments
kwilkens 15
Was he a golden retriever? Because you just got a golden shower.
geolocep 6
The dog is showing submission. Means you're the alpha.
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Comments (49)
0mysteriousman0 22
My dog gets excited most days when she sees me... Thankfully a girl so it doesn't shoot up at me when she's over excited...
writerchic85 26
A lot of dogs are excited pissers. What you want to do is not acknowledge the dog right away when you get in the door. Don't say anything to him or pet him. Walk past him, put your coat away, ect until he's showing that he's calmed down, then go say hello to him just as calmly. Don't let him get roused enough to pee. Another way is to let him come outside to see you before you go in, provided your yard is fenced.
smokecloud_ 37
This so much. My dog is crazy excited when I come home from a five minute trip to the store, and a million times more after I've returned from work after several hours. I calmly and wordlessly put him on his chain to potty (no fenced yard) and give him his food when we get back inside. He usually runs around for a minute before hopping up on the couch next to me, which is when he finally gets attention and a greeting from me. Another fun fact: my dog doesn't "excitement pee" but he sneezes a lot when he's overly excited.
nwwaverider 14
So you weren't pissed off just pissed on?
momojvj 4
lol is ur dog R Kelly?
Bunnyluver 20
I don't get it...
andrmac 25
Now I have inspiration if I ever get rich and decide to have a crazy rich person fountain made: a giant dog on its back peeing water into the air in every direction
Animeisthebest1 14
Guess he's in love with the koko.
foxesntea 22
My dog does the same thing op, it's horrible but funny.
hoosiergirl94 31
My dog is 2 and still pees when she is excited
Soulless_95 20
My dog did it until she was five. Especially when my grandparents came over.
pharmalady 10
Mine is 8 and still does it. She's a lot better than she used to be though. It's still funny watching her check to see if she did pee when she gets up.
Bunnyluver 20
Yes, I was #5000 to say your life sucks! Anyway, that is unpleasant, but I'm so glad you have a dog that loves you alot. Treasure that Op, the good and the bad.
FalloutScrolls 25
Man's best friend, everyone.