Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
100 cookies? Did you mean bear instead of dog?
feedmankeynow 10
I hope she's okay
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Comments (69)
Nightwing98 22
100 cookies? Did you mean bear instead of dog?
Welshite 40
I'm quite sure OP would know the difference between a bear and a dog.
Bano360 25
I don't understand this site. The funny comments get thumbs down, the sympathy comments get thumbed down. Dryshite community.
rg350dx 29
That dog must be a goddamned tank if it can down 100 cookies.
imazaari 12
I work in a Vet Hospital and some tiny dogs can eat AMAZING amounts of bad stuff. I saw a Golden Retriever that ate an entire bag of garbage, and she looked like a Thanksgiving blimp.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
My lab would go to town on 100 cookies, plus another 100 if they were available. I feel like dogs have that problem where they don't feel full and could literally eat until they pop. Or, my dog is just a pig. :P
squirrelicious 7
My friend pet dog ate the 2 bags of trash. I was horrified and was scared that she was gonna die. Thankfully she didn't. Amazing what they can stuff in their little tummy.
tjv3 10
Damn OP maybe you should feed him more?
Glitter_taco_ 10
It's not that the dog needs more food, dogs eat whatever they can get to. My dog took a bite out of every pepper in my moms garden, so we put cyan in them and fed them to him, he still ate them... All 10 red bell peppers...
xyris_fml 28
One of the biggest problems people have with dogs is overeating, which could kill them. Most dogs don't know when to stop eating, since their ancestors would hunt something and just go to town until it was gone. It's dangerous and even overeating regular dog food has killed, which is why it's healthier for most dogs to have set mealtimes.
feedmankeynow 10
I hope she's okay
biggestfan23 11
Wow that's one hungry dog
PeaceIsFree 9
I think that might have been me actually...
SomeRandomGuy15 18
You're OP's dog? Wow! You can eat 100 cookies AND type on a computer? You're an awesome bitch!
oj101 33
#32 - your comment is even more awesome with Cookie Monster as your display picture but I am a little disturbed as to what you will do to #4 next given that all the cookies have been eaten.
tommyfox 19
I bet you were pumped, OP.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Dough make a big deal of it OP.
JaneChemi_fml 21
puns are only funny if they work. this did not
TourettesGuyFTW 26
You do need dough to make cookies, dough.
lonewolf621 17
Dogs arent supposed to eat cookies...
rg350dx 29
"Are you retarded?" - Stewie.
21jason 9
"Are you retarded?" - me
tmmundy 17
You don't say?
GRgoldfish 19
naw really? I didn't know that.
jerzjay 17
Ain't nothing like some Scooby snacks... Hope the dog is alright op
ScenicSubterfuge 39
I would rename the dog "cookie":3
rg350dx 29
My dog eats shit but that doesn't mean I'm going to change her name to "shitty"
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Yes, let's name the dog after what could have killed it. Actually, my parents call me "Car Accident" cause one of those almost killed me. I think it's cute :) :P
shadow7x 10
Hahaha #21
byron17 26
Lets just hope it wasn't a fundraising bake sale....that sucks OP.
narkill 13
Well,that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess.