Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Sounds like your roommate’s problem and not yours… But if you don’t like the idea of a used condom in the disposal you could ask him nicely to put them in the kitchen trash can.
Thaylok 17
give him a bucket full of bleech to toss his used spunk into. not the communal sink. that will kill the little swimmers well enough to keep that gal from making him baby daddy.
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Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
Sounds like your roommate’s problem and not yours… But if you don’t like the idea of a used condom in the disposal you could ask him nicely to put them in the kitchen trash can.
Thaylok 17
give him a bucket full of bleech to toss his used spunk into. not the communal sink. that will kill the little swimmers well enough to keep that gal from making him baby daddy.
Thaylok 17
bleach.