Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Bitches be crazy.
tj5810 21
That happens to everyone. *wink wink*
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Comments (127)
Niten120 7
So you can backtrack and try to explain it. Or you can gun it and tell her "Movie night – but you're the star" with a wink
kikis_momma 5
If she is pissed at him for watching then yes, she's uptight. He's not cheating on her and he isn't forcing her to watch. He shouldn't have to hide it and she shouldn't try to change him if he likes it.
Knarf_fml 10
Are you kidding she speaks the truth and gets negative hits! Way to many uptight girls here! What the world needs is more women like this poster Jeez
SwedishMuffins 11
It's on a screen so it's not cheating. Okay.
elywyn 6
You have to pay quite a lot for hustler channel. So its pretty likely already knows and she doesnt care. And why is this an fml anyhow. Why would anyone care?
gregkingsley 4
Blame the dog like always. U know he hit the previous channel button.
pastnastificatio 4
Word
silverflame1 6
Sure, that's what they all say.
princessahicks 1
Who cares?! Your girlfriend is going to be mad because you may or may not have been watching ****??
TheJondretteGirl 2
Yeah. His "dog"
CAJustise 9
Ya you stick to that story I'm sure it'll work eventually.
ellytoad 13
Trolldog!
TITANlUM 2
"Stupid dog, you make me look bad. ABOGUHBUGUH"