Today, my wedding went amazingly, aside from the fact that when I successfully got the garter off her thigh then tossed it behind me, her dad went out of his way to jump up and catch it. Let that be a lesson to not turn around and see who catches it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML
Today, during the garter toss at a wedding, all the eligible men yelped and scrambled, evading it like a falling meteor. They apparently wanted to stay single, rather than put it on and dance with the one who caught the bouquet, which was me. FML
Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML
Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML
Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't see him smell it. That would be super disturbing if you saw your father-in-law sniffing his own daughter's garter. I should have warned you that the imagery could be troubling.
RichardPencil 32
Kinda, yeah. If that image came into my head, I feel like I have to share it so I don't have to bear it all by myself.
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't see him smell it. That would be super disturbing if you saw your father-in-law sniffing his own daughter's garter. I should have warned you that the imagery could be troubling.
poopface82 25
Must you put that image in our heads?
RichardPencil 32
Kinda, yeah. If that image came into my head, I feel like I have to share it so I don't have to bear it all by myself.
Plop 17
And as we all know, sharing is caring. Richard is just a deeply caring person.