Anonymous
United States
Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Malding
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
baldspot
Australia
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Getthelysol
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Mom2grls808
United States
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
andrea
Denver, United States
Moldy excuse
Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML
Anonymous
Showtime!
Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Jane
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Niagara Falls, Canada
Welcome to adulthood
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
Connie
RIP in peace
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Top comments
Calingaladha 21
I've seen much worse decisions out of nine year olds...at least she wasn't watering plants like a dog...
taymichele16 15
Make her add shampoo now it's a free service
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Comments (52)
meeju 14
Even though I wouldn't have done this at 9. I feel angered the way you're taunting, sayings "she's 9". Although it sucks to have a kid do that to the carpet. Let kids be creative and stop assuming they'll know everything. She only 9.
CarouselHeart 11
Seems like a logical assumption for a nine year old to make...we all do weird stuff at that age. XD
kbecks87 16
That says more about your parenting than it does your child.
SHUVITHRD 3
You raised her!
Catdragon 40
we've all done dumb things or believed in something that was clearly absurd. be happy that she's still a child and not doing things like going on online dating sites and pretending to be 18
Atmey 5
It's time to teach her how plants actually grow.
alicelouise66 5
she doesn't seem like a particularly bright child. seems like she should know the carpet is not going to grow.