Anonymous
United States
Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Malding
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
baldspot
Australia
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Getthelysol
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Mom2grls808
United States
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
andrea
Denver, United States
Moldy excuse
Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML
Anonymous
Showtime!
Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Jane
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Niagara Falls, Canada
Welcome to adulthood
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
Connie
RIP in peace
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Top comments
Calingaladha 21
I've seen much worse decisions out of nine year olds...at least she wasn't watering plants like a dog...
taymichele16 15
Make her add shampoo now it's a free service
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Comments (52)
Bearsmomma 30
I kinda feel 9 is a little old for something like that. I have a 9 year old and a 10 year old, and they make bad choices sometimes too. I'm not trying to be rude or anything; I just feel the child is old enough to know better in this instance.
mikewoodchuck 8
Seems like she can run for president someday. Seeing as Hilary is an idiot she has a great chance.
Pikawarrior 12
You made this FML because the carpet grew too big for your house, didn't you?
Flyndaran 10
I liked fire as a kid. Around nine, I think, I once lit paper on fire and hid it under my bed... it wasn't fully extinguished.
Pathetic_Problem 4
You can only blame yourself for not teaching her correctly or taking her to the wrong school.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Now just sprinkle your carpet with grass-seed & leave for a fortnight. It'll help absorb up all the water. Honest!
AndyPurdy 31
You're lucky you dont have timber floors,that water would've completely ruined your floor
Kramer1998 20
Well, at least she didn't jump into a gorilla cage!
jamiejones455 3
Well, at least you won't have to worry about sending her to college. She's too stupid for that.
Bunnyluver 20
Actually, it does happen. My mom's old car grew two sprouts on the mats with just water and sunlight. I'm not sure what to say about the 9 years old part, but she should know better.