Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
Today, my mom said if I don't get straight As in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML
Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML
Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
Today, one of my fourth-graders came up to me and asked, "Can you please not put my test grades in the weekly folders? My mom likes to get mad when I get below a 90." FML
Today, my mom found out that I’ve been faking my exam grades, turning my 30s to 80s and 40s to 90s on the paper exams. She got access to my online student portal and saw my real grades. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML
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Top comments
cjwayy 22
Sounds like she has social anxiety or something of the sort. Ask her why she's afraid of giving a speech maybe?
w_pony_4ever 15
hahaha that's a hard worker you've got there
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Comments (191)
megadki14 6
At least you know it's not a lack of intelligence. Smart girl.
monkyvirus 13
I would talk to her school about it (after discussing the situation with her) and say if she IS valedictorian can they just pick the next best person to do the speech and actually get called the valedictorian? After that maybe get her to practice small scale public speaking or attend workshops it's a skill she'll need a lot more in college.
skippy1775 1
My son was the valedictorian of his tiny 8th grade class of 12 from a small Catholic school. He didn't want to give a speech either. So, he wrote it and had one of his best friends (a kid whose grades were never great) read it, going with the theme that they were like a family and wanted to include everyone in the ceremony. The principal approved and we all thought it was a great compromise.
ztress 10
Dumbass
Dame84 6
Anxiety much, poor girl
nightangel17 4
Luckily I'm stupid enough not to worry about that :)
Durantye 8
Pretty sure you can decline to become valedictorian without having to wreck your grades.
thatotk 14
At least you're still a proud father.
clair_brodie 35
The school should be able to respect her decision enough to not have to make a speech. Just because you get good grades does not mean you have to talk to the whole school.
WeskersSexslave 15
Who doesn't hate 500 pairs of eyes staring at you while you read from a paper. A speech you wrote 2 weeks prior and can't even remember it. xD