Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, a woman turned up uninvited at my house, ready for our first date. After some embarrassed investigating, it turns out my mother signed me up to Tinder and arranged a date, all without telling me, because she refuses to believe I prefer solitude over dating. FML
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like each other. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
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Top comments
zOMGitsdc 0
Please tell me this wasn't a first date.. cause if you are concerned with an ingrown hair on your ass for a first date, you have issues.
DJ_Grim 0
You should have just looked at them and said with a straight face "Well, can you help?".
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Comments (135)
akshar 0
Hot! and seriously half the ppl that post fmls have one cuz of something stupid. Why the heck wouldnt u keep ur door locked while doing something like that? So when ur with ur electric toothbrush is the door still unlocked?
blobner_bob 0
good comment!
bananapajama 0
Neither my bedroom at my parents house nor my bedroom in my apartment have a lock. anyone thought maybe Hairy Butt didn't HAVE a lock?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Did he then surprise butt-sex you?
perdix 31
Wouldn't that depend on the proximity of the ingrown hair to the target?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Not if he just rams wherever he can. :]
perdix 31
I was thinking if the big butt pimple was out wide, he could just make her cover it with her hand as he went up the Hershey Highway. Butt, if the ingrown hair was way down in the canyon, it might cause the wood to soften too much.
greenltrn2003 0
^0.0 I honestly... wait **** nope I have nothing to add or no way to reply to that comment.
Witchcraft_fml 5
But it might feel good for her if it's up in there. Dick rubbing up against ingrown anal hair? Two pleasures at once.
perdix 31
It might be good for her, but when he's taking the dirt road, he might not like the little helper on the side. But that's just me.
Witchcraft_fml 5
You would think any added texture might help him along! :] She's bumping, he's grinding. Or he's otherwise grinding her bump.
perdix 31
You've got a way with words, young lady. With enough grinding, he just might file that sucker down.
DJ_Grim 0
I'm not a part of this, but something tells me I wish I was.
Witchcraft_fml 5
If they get kinky with a cheese-grater...enough said.
Cristaderzi 0
Its her parents house so they dont gave to knock!! Mine used to do random searches and I'd have to clean up afterwards.. Its part of being a teen!
myfriend_youfail 3
O_o Damn, you must have grown up in boot camp, then....my parents always knocked, in case I was in a state of undress or I was deeply engrossed in a book/homework assignment. If I didn't answer, THEN they'd bust in, but they always gave me fair warning so I'd at least have time to throw on a robe or finish what I was working on.
elisapizzaa 0
does this have anything to do with the lamebook post today about some chick trying to do the same thing?
Skull_300 0
At least she wasn't blowing the mailman or stepfather. What the **** is her mother showing someone her room for?
CallMeHush 1
He saw you picking your hairy ass eh? Did he ask if you were part wookie or did it turn him on?
Lisa89 3
Nice FML....
reado 0
Fake, taken from lamebook
myfriend_youfail 3
asdfghjkl;';lkjhgfdsa Disregard either comment, Cristaderzi take your pick. Goddamn website. *hit self with the triple-post bat she snuck over from her other website* Bad girl. Thou shalt not triple post ever again.
myfriend_youfail 3
What? What the... *sputters* Now BOTH my comments apparently deleted themselves. I give up. -______-