Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML
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Top comments
cherries62212 16
well... that escalated quickly...
JellyBalls 18
Respect your parents.
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Comments (185)
starlita_fml 15
actually, it's 'boy, that escalated quickly'
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Troll dad
chuckcloninger 12
He sure has your number. When did you surrender your Anger Control Button to him?
aaboydboyd 8
(/)_-) don't feed the trolls op...
sugarlover1998 7
I would get so annoyed if my dad did that! All of the people saying that your dad's epic for this (he is probably epic in other ways) would hate it if their dads did this lol.
EmilyKay222 4
Your dad is amazing. FML for him not being in it!
Scratcher_cat 2
Many "you deserve it" entries are voted as such because it's more of an annoying petty complaint or whine than an actual pitiable situation. You completely walked right into this one. So much so that not saying "well that escalated quickly" would have been a tragedy. I assure you though, that if you begin to use shitty memes ironically, they will eventually become less aggravating.
SammiixSue 13
LMAO!
Axel5238 29
Meme's and family guy pretty much killed comedy. Seth Macfarlane can't write and now people associate comedy with annoyingly using internet jokes and crap from family guy. Somehow how random shit or trying to be vulgar=comedy. Thankfully, it'll go the way of Andrew Dice Clay. Too bad this form of humor has been a hit with teens and dumb college kids most of those smoke pot.
mantiquillas 2
Your dad is a bad ass in my book!