Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML
Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over two hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
Today, I got home early from work at 2am to find my girlfriend of 5 years missing. Upon further inspection, I caught the "other man" dropping her off out front. So much for the engagement ring I bought for her. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML
Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML
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Top comments
mags17 1
Better you found out now than later. Sorry this happened to you.
BubbleGrunge 18
Just out of curiosity, are you sure it was a wedding band? I have a faux diamond ring and it fits better on my left hand than my right. Note to females, don't wear giant faux rings on your finger. Handsome men won't give you the time of say!
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Comments (80)
135pipe 9
I don't understand this ?
mags17 1
Better you found out now than later. Sorry this happened to you.
TrueTriage 16
I agree 2.. I really hope you moved on quickly.. To making a massive scene for fun for yourself, others, and pointing out how dumb this girl was
AKGirlinSD 20
Knowing sooner than later is way better, before more emotions are involved (for OP). Forget the married woman, who deserves a c*nt-punch! OP, I give you props for putting her in her place. Some people wouldn't care and carry on the affair. But it never crosses their minds that if the girl is so easily cheating on her husband and leaves him for you, how do you know she won't do the same damn thing to you? You dodged a huge bullet!
Era13x 5
Boy, that escalated quickly.
mif_fml 27
This is now one of those statements that is being overused, and will always be thumbed down. Enough regurgitated comments, get creative.
insertnameherr 11
Too bad. I liked using that statement. Damn you, anchorman and your hilarity!!
dmoran20 27
Between that and merica, I don't know which one I want to dropkick with a flying iPad to the skull more!
NeinKittenz 20
'Murica*
Ki11erC 18
Pretty sure this is in reference to the FML below rather than just being the phrase.
priiest 8
#6 if you where on other joke things u would know they come from memes.......
CharresBarkrey 16
54 - What? And this phrase came from a movie, not a meme.
oh_the_karma 12
All I can say is that sucks!!! I don't know if it's worse to be the one being lied to/ cheating with or the one being cheated on but either way definitely an FML!!
priiest 8
.
wvcheesehead1 9
Maybe OP will be fine with sharing.
BubbleGrunge 18
Just out of curiosity, are you sure it was a wedding band? I have a faux diamond ring and it fits better on my left hand than my right. Note to females, don't wear giant faux rings on your finger. Handsome men won't give you the time of say!
RpiesSPIES 27
To be fair, I don't think anyone COULD give anyone the time of say.
BubbleGrunge 18
Agreed!!!! I'm asking too much for the time of say! What about the time of day?
thewife5 19
You don't say?
insertnameherr 11
Well at least you found out sooner in the relationship. Try to talk some sense into that woman and tell her to stop being a cheater!
carebear808 12
Tell the husband!
lilhellian 27
Whoops that was meant for another comment.. Sorry all.
niezen 4
Did you come inside her?
lilhellian 27
Wait what? Where's the relevence? Not everyone has sex within five dates..
GingerNinja7 17
Well, at least she didn't bring her husband
HortonThelephant 15
On the plus side stud muffin, if you can pick up some random, married *****, just think of all the hot, single ladies just waiting for you!
enormouselephant 15
Horton, I really do not appreciate your talking about the hot, single females. Don't forget about me, buddy.
NeinKittenz 20
Elephant party? I brought Nein kittens with me...