Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
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Top comments
IllegalLight 0
If your dad's girlfriend is like 35 or whatever.. get her a 40 year old balloon on her next birthday :P She won't be happy either.
Kylias 6
Aww, that sucks. Congrats and happy birthday! And congratulations on being 13 and typing more coherently than most of the older crowd.
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Comments (412)
Mardy_Bum_fml 0
I completely agree with #228. And for everyone saying "they can't relate" and "they don't understand," so what? They'll figure it out. They probably know what the urban dictionary is, or at least how to use google. So, think of it as a learning experience for them. They can't grow to understand anything if you block them out from everything they might not be able to relate to.
icanfloat12 0
dude saphira is from eldest I'm waiting for brisingr to come to my library
F_M_S 0
You inconsiderate assholes, age doesn't mean anything. #227, my mom is not lazy or pathetic for not "screening" what i do on the internet. And if you didn't know most of the swear words by 13-14, i feel bad for you, you missed out on life. I completely agree with what #228 said, 12-15 would rather spend time out with friends then with their parents. None of you own anything, so stop acting like you do.
prospekt1 0
u r a little bitch. at least she cares
biggestfan 0
ummm well seriously? It's awkward swearing on a site that I now know 12 year olds read. So go away. Play neopets. or powerpets. or whatever. I don't care if you can or cannot relate to this, having you here is annoying. Parties don't ruin your life. Yes, it sucks that your dad's girlfriend can't even get your age right, but whatever.
biggestfan 0
Oh, and BTW #228? teens are the ones in school. If you can't graduate hs because you're busy reading fml, then that's just PATHETIC.
fridalovesyou 0
Dear number 235 I have abslutely no comment to you sweetheart, Just have fun with that. You enjoy your life. :)
scateice 0
Why are you all talking about 12-13 year olds? *sigh* I guess I'm the only 11 year old :( Us 11 year olds shame you annoying adults with all your bitching. SHAME #228 Agreed
Trooth 13
well it's the thought that counts right?
gangstapebbles89 0
at least she tried
Dieromantic85 0
Happy birthday you're not special