Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, I had an appointment. After 2 hours of waiting in the sun, my mom finally picked me up and lectured me on how irresponsible my dad was for not communicating with her. Not 5 minutes after I got home, my dad showed up and gave me the same exact lecture about my mom. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, after I tried to be the bigger person and invite my dad to my college graduation/dinner, and he asked when so I gave him the address and times, surprise surprise, he didn’t show up. He didn’t even have the decency to send a damn text. Yet when I’m angry about his crap, I get told I have daddy issues. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad lied and said he was busy working, all because he didn't want to see me. FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML
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Top comments
adropofpeace 8
If you're a cross country runner, just be like Forrest and take your practice home! Run Forrest, Run!
iAmScrubs 19
Don't listen to anyone saying "run home". Grow some wings and fly home.
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Comments (81)
adropofpeace 8
If you're a cross country runner, just be like Forrest and take your practice home! Run Forrest, Run!
hellokimmiee 5
Yea! Put those running legs to use!
flockz 20
ya race home to your "jenny". (proceeds to shut door and **********)
FreshSalad 1
I'm going to get thumbed down for this but "Run, Forrest, Run" is probably the most obnoxious thing a runner, myself included, hears. Thanks for referencing a movie about a semi-retarded man running while I run and stay healthy and you sit in your huge ass car. Done raging...
adropofpeace 8
How was it an insult when the comparison made is that Forrest literally ran across the country? Take your rage elsewhere, it doesn't fit here. Also, my car is tiny.
shovels 0
18, calm down, it's one of the best movies in history. It might be about a "semi-retarded" man, but apparently he became a billionaire, was a war hero, ran around the country, etc. Don't worry, no one would ever compare you to a movie character as awesome as FORREST GUMP!
koe4 0
lol and he still did better at life than you. quit bitchin.
dwreck69 0
Forrest Gump may have been a ra-tard, but he was also Tom Hanks. Let's show some respect you son of a bitch
chili10 18
18, there are just some things to expect as a runner: dogs chasing you, rude remarks from perverts driving by... if you don't want to hear it, run with an IPod. simple solution.
AnagenisisZagus 13
An A-class first comment. Bravo, bravo.
chaps93 6
horsedick.mpeg
Tjack_attack 0
he's obvoisly disappointed because anyone who runs cross cuntry is a pus. so he knows he fathered a pus
jannie22 0
I'm on cross country too and that's what I would have done. :)
Capt_Oblivious 10
Be sure to only run home if you're wearing your 'magic shoes'.
hazardoussmiles9 22
8, my mom's name is Jenny O.O
SoulFrog 7
trust me after a cross country practice you don't have the energy to run back home
eenkoekje 4
YDI for not having a sense of humor...jeez. if your life is ****** because your dad forgot to pick you up, you must have a pretty easy life...
itsbritneybixchh 0
ha thats something my dad would do! just walk or take the bus and when he gets there he'll prob freak out or somethinn.
JesusFishTaco 5
Lol That's something that I do sometimes to get outta trouble of lighten the mood.
partyfool2011 4
My dad would've been all "you're in cross country, run home!"
cicpjaky 6
run home dude, I've done it from my school PT is fun USMC 4ever
afilingcabinet 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
kill your dad,take his car
TeamCoCo 0
You play to much Grand theif Auto
detective_oreo 0
I'f you run that much in cross-country might as well run home!
WinterPerfection 3
That's extra running. You have to consider how much running they do at the practice, PLUS running home.
detective_oreo 0
well more practice
chili10 18
I was on varsity cross country and depending on the day we could do as much as 12 miles. it's not fun to have to walk or run extra miles after a long run... but then again op might be jv and they only do like 6 miles at the most.
iAmScrubs 19
Don't listen to anyone saying "run home". Grow some wings and fly home.
babyfireball77 14
but first drink some red bull
dwreck69 0
or kill an eagle and steal it's soul
knights95 9
Invest in some Heely's.
toddlesscott 0
LMFAO. You must be a Zebra!!
IWarnedYou 0
... What?
kaoriblossom 8
Er...I don't see the correlation between a Zebra and the FML....
dwreck69 0
lmfao that's awesome!!!!
borkchop1992 15
does he get an award
alexandrab 0
why didn't you run home?