Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Just point to your arms and tell him "they ought to be more worried about these guns."
shaaza 16
Since when did "face-bombs" become a thing?
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Comments (57)
thelionheart 14
Scream "ALLAH AKBAR!" and pop it at him?
samlovesham1234 9
OMG LOL!!!
TerraShadow 18
Tbch your dad has a good sense of humor, weird maybe but still good. So lighten up a bit OP, your dad was only joking.
simply_meeeee 26
"Dad you're joke was soo not the bomb.com..."
messymessiah 11
I'm sorry for laughing but ha ha ha. Good old dad-jokes.
shemademedoit 20
I'm sorry op but that was hilarious!
samlovesham1234 9
I'd be like "thanks a lot dad" heavy on the sarcasm.
vmbrocca 13
In middle school my dad sad my cheeks looked like pepperoni pizza, I'm so glad to be done with the worst of my acne. Don't let what your dad said get to you, it'll pass. Just take care of your skin and try not to stress. Tips: If you have a large pimple that seems ready to pop don't pop it just hold a green tea bag to your face and let the antioxidants in the tea help fight the acne. You can also apply toothpaste to the area and leave it there a couple hours. After washing your face cover your whole face in Hydro peroxide for a minute then dry off. Exfoliate your skin at least one to twice a week. Make sure you always moisturize daily. I hope this helps ?
22fazbearatreet 13
dad jokes.
Ramos808 29
Your dad is a pretty funny guy. Lol, I'm wondering what else he says to his children
vikky538 29
I am still laughing at your dad's sense of humor