Today, my mom is mad that she went clubbing and not one single guy offered to buy her a drink, but a couple of women did, which just pissed her off even more. I should point out the club she chose is the biggest gay club in our city, but then she’ll probably switch to being mad at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, when I came out to my family, my mom told me in all seriousness she’d rather me be a prostitute than a lesbian. She added, “At least prostitutes have sex with men.” When I pointed out that lesbians can also be prostitutes, she kicked me out of the house. She’s changed the locks. FML
Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML
Today, I asked my wife if I could go out for guys night. She said yes, and that it sounded so fun she decided to come too. Guys night was ruined. We couldn’t do anything without feeling her silently judging us. Guys night lasted two hours before they all left sober and pissed as hell at me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
She...couldn’t tell all the men were gay?? Has she no sense of awareness at all? Lmao
RichardPencil 32
Don't tell her. You'll only be showing her how dumb she is and no one likes that. Give her some scissors, a muff and some carpet and let her figure it out,
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Comments (4)
Marcella1016 32
She...couldn’t tell all the men were gay?? Has she no sense of awareness at all? Lmao
RichardPencil 32
Don't tell her. You'll only be showing her how dumb she is and no one likes that. Give her some scissors, a muff and some carpet and let her figure it out,
lilacgold 16
This is why straight people shouldn't be allowed into gay clubs without an accompanying gay person, or at least demonstrating solid awareness that they are, in fact, at a gay club. Going to such a place and then getting upset that people of your own gender are hitting on you and people of your preferred gender aren't interested is really dumb, especially given there's tons of regular clubs.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like the Ron DeSantis "Say Gay" Law.
Jon Tessler 14
wow, what a really bad take....just stop
Marcella1016 32
So logistically, would the bouncer be checking for your gay card at the door or what?
diraven 15
Who knows? She might be intrigued...