Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Today, my dad and stepmom came back from a very expensive two-month trip across the world. When they got home, they had more gifts for their cat than for me. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
someone is not getting a gift on Father's Day
flashback.miss 28
My dad had an awesome time in Arizona and all I got was this lousy lotion. When his birthday rolls around, be sure to return the favour.
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Comments (77)
scottyspot 11
Sounds like he's a jerk.
baseballdude1283 18
Give it to him for Father's Day and see how he feels
Wizardo 34
So don't delay, claim your free Arizona hotel lotion today! We guarantee the feeling of unicorns ******** rainbows over you or you can return the product with a harsh worded complaint to our nonexistent customer services. So call now! Refer to #2, #41 and #45 for testimonies of satisfied customers.
jerome72 14
It would have been even better if it was open.
SaxophoneHero 12
Really? You're going to pull the orphan card on us, Batman? "My father gave me some cheap hotel lotion, after giving the other members of my family wonderful presents, but hey! At least I have a father!" Could you also say that for "My father hit me with a car today, but I'm grateful I have a father"?
EvieM97 8
Well shouldn't you feel special. ;)
LissaMccracken 23
That would have heart my feelings too. I'm sorry, and FYL.
buckdharma 38
I came from Phoenix Arizona now I'm back in Ansonia Let me smell ya, it's a perfume called L.a. Some bud from Payson, but son let me warn ya to steer clear of work at least for three days Now I know this is suspicious Got your mom these nice dishes Babe you know you are a friend of mine and you know that it's true that all the things that I do are gonna haunt you in your sweet time
xGreyRosex 13
#41 While OP could agree with you I would think she would enjoy it more if she were a man? No?
armyaggie 11
Guess who's not getting a Fathers Day present now!