Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
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Top comments
eyealaska 4
I'm just wondering what he did to end up in jail in the first place.
ambowew 7
Is this the second half of the story about the pair who were caught skinny-dipping by the daughters cop father?
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Comments (122)
youcantwin 8
Oh damn
hinchkongfang 0
So, if he's so overprotective, why ask him? It's not like he's gonna say yes....
XKXKKXK 10
I think he misjudged his misjudgement.
EvilPotato 15
It depends what he did.
theten_fml 9
Get your own money. I wouldn't bail him out if i was the father.
LiveLaughFML 10
you should play the song "Criminal" by Britney Spears in your parents house more often =)
TXjuggalo972 6
I think 34 ment "criminal" by eminem Stupid autocorrect right?
DjeePee 25
I wouldn't even bail him out if I was the girlfriend.
BackInMyDay 0
Baby Jesus and I have the same birthday.
angry_anonymous 5
37- BRITNEY SPEARS HAS A SONG CALLED CRIMINAL, DON'T QUESTION SHAT YOU DON'T KNOW! AAAAHHHHH
taptaptapity 2
You Can't Win or is it, You Can, Twin! Driving me nuts!
hannahcorrine 0
I feel like op needed to elaborate on why her boyfriend was in jail.
22cute 17
Sounds like to me your father wasn't protective enough.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
53- Seriously? I pray you are a troll. Partly because you felt the need to use caps as if to scream like Godzilla, but mainly because you would have to be extremely dense to think that 37 was insinuating that Britney spears doesn't have a song called "criminal".
yankfan89 27
Make your boyfriend's parents bail him out
eyealaska 4
I'm just wondering what he did to end up in jail in the first place.
rawrkittyrawr 6
Deceiving the authority
spencerstoaker 7
I'm wondering why she's still with him..
zombicidal 11
yes because anyone who has to spend a small amount of time in jail obviously deserves to be alone and unloved for all time for all we know he could be innocent or just in the wrong place
schaflava 0
Unauthorized anal
CryMoreFMLs 15
47 - If he had yelled "surprise!", it wouldn't have been a rape charge....
GabbyCharityM 0
Indecent exposure.
False_Stupidity 42
Probably caught skinny dipping with her and her father is a cop and... Um... Comment fail
technochik3 12
You mean innocent AND in the wrong place. You can't just be "in the wrong place" in a jail without being innocent. Did he stroll down the street and go "oh here's the ice cream shop!" then walk in and find out it's full of criminals or something?
Oniat 2
46- If he didn't do anything wrong, she shouldn't have to think twice about calling her dad. Let him rot in jail and get his head on straight for the short amount of time he'll be in there. Jail's like an adult time-out.
rkmepm 16
so... is good and respectable meant to be sarcastic?
hinchkongfang 0
Not at all!!!!!
drop_it 3
I think its meant to quote the dad
deepunder 17
This is a bit confusing. Was the dad being sarcastic, or was the OP's intention unsaid as the dad was saying this. The 2nd is more of an FML
xSynergY 8
Now you can prove your dad wrong once again!
ambowew 7
Is this the second half of the story about the pair who were caught skinny-dipping by the daughters cop father?
Blueglasscup 18
If it was then she wouldn't have to call her dad because her dad was the one who had caught her.
ambowew 7
Not if he was so furious he had to use a good load of sarcasm to prevent flying off the handle.
beachbabe830 0
This comment made my day! Unlike this FML
rothus66 7
That is when you thank you dad and hang up.
booiloveeyou 0
dump him...
Garyy_fml 11
Oh my. OH MY GOD. I congratulate you on such an original comment. I have never seen comment anything close to "dump him..." before. Thumbs up from me!
tona01 16
And the argumentation on why she should dump him, is also so descriptive, i couldn't have done it better
ryukk_fml 3
"oh daddy, he was framed!"
Sl1mShad3y 10
So im gonna take a random guess and say he said no to the money?
XKXKKXK 10
I think he misjudged his misjudgement.
funkthat26 2
Misjudgeception.