No one special.
United States
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML
CaptainByron
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
fox_at_heart
Philadelphia, United States
So close…
Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML
hatetodisappoint
United States
Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML
~__~
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
chiktikka
United Kingdom
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
addie
United States
Bad boys bad boys
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
shroomda
United States
Far out, man
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Anonymous
Grandville, United States
Good to hear from you
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Please tell me you didn't do it...sounds like a deadbeat father to me, darling.
pdp_fml 21
I believe that your life sucks. We can't choose who our fathers are. I hope that your life works out.
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Comments (39)
perdix 31
Are you going to be a whiny little bitch about not talking to your dad for six months, or are you going to spring him, so he doesn't get corn-holed in the slammer? Time's a-wasting! The longer you screw around, the better your dad's butt look to the predators who think frail, old dudes are easy picking.
AAShah 0
LMFAO. You're the best. :)
valri3 0
Thing is are you going to bail him out? If you are then that would be a true FML.
mylifesucksserio 15
yeh that really is kind sad
califbob 3
That's the seventeenth time he's been arrested for lewd acts with a canteloupe.
rattusrattus 19
The mind boggles, truely. One would think parsnips or bicycles would be better suited to that purpose.
skatingalyy 0
I hope u didn't do it...
Rdrgz 0
seems like its his life that sucks..with yours having sucky elements to it thanks to your Dad and the sucky life hes created for himself. Glad youre doing well enough to afford to bail him out of jail despite the poor parenting you had to overcome. be proud of yourself not down on yourself
ThreeSheetsGone 12
It's illegal to perform oral sex on a street corner. Let him sit and think about what he's done. And since when is it illegal to perform lewd, lucivious acts on a canteloupe? Shit, I'm in trouble...
2lollymolly2 0
doont do it.
tttiffany 0
I would tell him 'HMM, maybe I'll wait a few months to bail you out!' what an asshole!
ghbetuehe 0
Dad," Hi...I'm in jail, bail me out? Pretty Please?" You," No, bail your own ass out of jail." *Hang up*