Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me he's taking the whole family to Disney World, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML
Today, my boss took back my week off because he wants to take a spontaneous Caribbean vacation with his wife, which is "clearly more important" than what I was going to do. I needed that time off so I could be with my Dad in hospice. FML
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML
Today, my teacher announced that he'd be out for a week because he was going to Vegas. I happily said, "Woo hoo!" Then he finished his sentence by telling me it was because his dad had died. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
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Top comments
dawood_k 27
And that's why you love him even more...
euphoricness 28
How can he when he hasn't been on vacation since six?
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Comments (86)
Rainb0wdash9 23
Your dad is awesome!
burritobandit 7
You live in the "Bay of Plenty" in NZ. Sounds better than the Caribbean to me :D
mellyski 25
I go to the Bay of Plenty to holiday! It's lovely, but the Caribbean is probably a touch nicer. And checking the current top news for BOP area; a dog stuck in a hole for 30hrs and the state highway is reopened after a truck breakdown, oh and a massive advert for dementia care.
Rallred32 20
The only issue here is that OP has "xX,Xx" in his/her name.
skyeyez9 25
My 16th birthday card was "Hey 16yr old, how would you like having a sporty jeep to ride around in?" In the back of my mind, I almost thought he was hinting at a new jeep for me. I open the card up it read: "Wait 2 years and join the army." I did enlist in the army, but at that time, had no desire to until my senior year.
alliewillie 22
"Month long Caribbean vacation, all expenses paid".... You didn't see that coming?
modet 8
your dream become true..... for a second
PotatoUnicorn 8
Arse? I thought people just said that as a joke.
nyxiny 22
OP is from NZ you damn dirty Yank.
Saraishi 25
He asked but you jumped to conclusions, OP. Don't make yourself such an easy target.
CharismaGeek 19
I saw that coming.
BabyKayWade3 3
Thats ****** lol.