Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad told me he's taking the whole family to Disney World, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML
Today, my boss took back my week off because he wants to take a spontaneous Caribbean vacation with his wife, which is "clearly more important" than what I was going to do. I needed that time off so I could be with my Dad in hospice. FML
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML
Today, my teacher announced that he'd be out for a week because he was going to Vegas. I happily said, "Woo hoo!" Then he finished his sentence by telling me it was because his dad had died. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
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Top comments
dawood_k 27
And that's why you love him even more...
euphoricness 28
How can he when he hasn't been on vacation since six?
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Comments (86)
Axel5238 29
This as well, this sounds like something you'd win from a contest or something. If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.
dabears1011234 27
More like mean, JK MEGA awesome
nchic01 17
and so the prank war begins
nchic01 17
time to get him back!
dabears1011234 27
Hey we can all dream
dabears1011234 27
Hey, don't you think you would have gotten a little homesick if you were gone for an entire month?
dabears1011234 27
The carribean can't ve that nice eh?
abcdefgopqrst 1
Just now，I watched the computer side masturbation，At the moment of ejaculation，My grandma suddenly came in。I quickly closed the computer，，，but，you know。 Now my underpants very sticky。。
TheDog6 24
Record the lottery or some drawing without him knowing. Get him to play the old numbers and play the recording back to him after the fact. That'll teach him.
Whotevah 8
Aahw, that sucks, op. I want to go to the Carribean, too.