Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was not welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my father passed. He never gave me the time of day for anything, but he was my dad so I went to the funeral. However, 98% of the people there had no idea he had an eldest daughter. FML
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 minutes of him describing how beautiful she is, how much we look alike, and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not welcome at my boyfriend's dad funeral, because his ex-wife has invited herself, and it would be too awkward to explain to his extended family, most of whom apparently don't yet know that he's divorced. FML
Today, I learned that my father, who died when I was a child, was not in fact my father. This comes as my mom, who has been present and loving my whole life, passed away without providing any additional information. I'm a grown man and my family also had no idea. FML
Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML
Today, I texted my sister to ask her if she was OK after finding out that one of her oldest friends had died. She didn’t know. FML
Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML
Today, my lovely ex-mother-in-law died and now my ex has stopped talking to me. I found out through a mutual friend that we only had an amicable divorce in case his mother had left me money in her will, but now he’s got all her money, he didn’t even take time to invite me to the funeral. FML
Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML
Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
They can't stop you from coming into an entire state, and if you know where the funeral is, just show up. It's your dad, so you can go to your dad's funeral. If they insist on kicking you out, make a scene along why you can't attend your own father's funeral. Make them look bad for being so mean.
I can't stand leg puns! 23
Or maybe OP had been so out of contact with their father that they no longer had a way to contact him. We don't know the father's age, so he could have been old enough that he wasn't as clued in on social media as some people. My own grandmother barely uses her phone and has no internet, so if I didn't know where she lived it'd be next to impossible to contact her. Alternatively, could be that the father was intentionally estranged, not returning any attempts at contact that OP made. In any case, no matter the level of contact you should be allowed to attend the service of a family member if only to make peace in death where you couldn't in life.
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Comments (4)
AmbrosiaFan 19
He's estranged... so the only way you found out is by someone telling you... which means you also don't really ever contact him. Why so surprised you aren't welcome to the service?
I can't stand leg puns! 23
Or maybe OP had been so out of contact with their father that they no longer had a way to contact him. We don't know the father's age, so he could have been old enough that he wasn't as clued in on social media as some people. My own grandmother barely uses her phone and has no internet, so if I didn't know where she lived it'd be next to impossible to contact her. Alternatively, could be that the father was intentionally estranged, not returning any attempts at contact that OP made. In any case, no matter the level of contact you should be allowed to attend the service of a family member if only to make peace in death where you couldn't in life.
TinScarecrow 15
Estranged is estranged. That doesn't mean you get to pretend everything's all better at the funeral. It sounds like there was a reason they weren't in contact. Without knowing more we have no reason to say OP is welcome
kfchicken 31
that's obviously not the case since the fathers side deliberately didn't contact but contacted others near op. they went out of their way to avoid op it's no surprise op isn't welcomed. sucks, but not surprising
rotflqtms_ 21
They can't stop you from coming into an entire state, and if you know where the funeral is, just show up. It's your dad, so you can go to your dad's funeral. If they insist on kicking you out, make a scene along why you can't attend your own father's funeral. Make them look bad for being so mean.
Jonkbaby 23
op, this is terrible. please message me if you would like to talk further. i am very sorry for your loss
Jessy Quenga 2
that same thing happened with me; but with my own stepmom passing 4 1/2 years ago, she moved to her home state not too long after she wasn't doing so well and that was it. I wasn't notified for about 2-3 months, than i got notice and i am still outraged about it. if anything belonged or went to you find out what you can do about it, and take action. If they couldn't include like mine couldn't include me, they aren't family. They never were, don't stress yourself over it. I know that feeling.