Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
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Top comments
CommanderConcord 17
Well, have you been washing your hands?
may14th 26
Why doesn't she just come in the bathroom with you to make sure you do? Seems you don't have much privacy anyway.
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Comments (36)
elmacho 7
was she one of the 3 secretaries that time peoples bathroom usage?
Qabhadmus 13
creep
amsterdamgirl 20
CREEPY! ! ! !
DatBlueDerp 13
Walk up to her and wipe your hands all over her face
UserDoesExist 13
Does this FML have anything to do with 3 secretaries and spreadsheets?
ar2ag3on 4
Did you punch her in the throat?
samomaha 17
Good grief - what's next? Timing bathroom breaks on spreadsheets?
vh_musiclover 16
I wonder if she's using a spreadsheet.
SomeRandomUser 19
Ask your secretary to take a look at today's spreadsheet.
vandj8 9
Ask her if she'd like to smell your hands. That's what I do to my 6 year olds to prove they've washed their hands, and sure enough, I can smell the soap.