Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
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Top comments
CommanderConcord 17
Well, have you been washing your hands?
may14th 26
Why doesn't she just come in the bathroom with you to make sure you do? Seems you don't have much privacy anyway.
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Comments (36)
goodread2200 10
This probably wouldn't go down well in the office but.. my son has a hand washing "thing" and insists that everyone prove they washed their hands. I would leave my hands wet and touch his cheek with them. He eventually decided to take my word for it.
janfleury 19
That's creepy as he##.
RememberSchlitz 9
A quick email to HR is in order. She's a creep.
bad_boyfriend 10
There is one way to solve this problem. Stare deadpan, then just reach out and touch her face
NightKat 25
Just because someone doesn't need to take 10 minutes in the bathroom doesn't mean their not washing their hands. I mean it only takes me 1-3 minutes max to do my business and wash my hands. Maybe politely tell your coworker to quit being creepy.
murph_fml 21
Warning: To avoid injury, don't tell me my ******* business.
burgermike92 17
God, if she's that annoying as a coworker, imagine the nightmare of having her as a roommate or worse, a wife.
BloodyMary666 24
That's really ******* creepy and just going too far.
GirasolNegro 22
Report her for harassment to HR.
Superbaker123 14
Tell her to **** off. That's just over controlling, and rude; I feel bad for anyone she traps as a boyfriend.