Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML
Today, my little 7 and 6 year-old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied, "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML
Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML
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Top comments
aback 5
So tell your cousin you dreamed s/he was eaten by spiders. And his/her parents were glad.
genius_man16 1
Um, so the **** what? It's a dream. Stop getting your ******* panties in a bunch.
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Comments (91)
originalusername_fml 0
There's a Taiwanese beauty contest where the contestants have to do all sorts of things like photography, calligraphy, cooking, etc. If you lose it doesn't mean you're ugly. However maybe you're just really really bad with a camera or something XD
MCRxATLxParamore 0
LOL it's just a freakin' dream!!!
ianonavy 0
My God, no one realizes that there was no real dream, and this cousin made it up to insult him? It's the same thing as a "Baby's crying because he saw your face" joke. Basically what happened was his cousin decided to play a joke. Oh, and everyone who is blaming moderators for their "jobs" needs to realize that FML is moderated by the public. FML employee moderators only check the comments from what I see. @#4248848, you are the victim in this situation, but YDI for being stupid enough to think that this is a valid FML
paper_flowers 0
There really needs to be a "Your life isn't that f***ed" button.
Jenn22NY 0
WTF this is so horrible are you sucidal now because of the dream you're little cousin had?????? Grow Up'!!!!!
tuppySEALs 0
your life sucks only because you actually gave a shit.
Plum_fml 0
Why did this even get aprroved? STUPID.
Intellectualist 0
...Ok it's just a dream, but you don't have to be a pompous bunch of pricks and be nasty.
aww_yeeeuh 0
YDI for being a fat ugly bitch.
cuppycakemagic 0
#88 - unless you are some odd, pervish stalker, you should not know what this person looks like. To everyone else that posted, the phrase '**** my life' doesn't always mean 'AHH, MY LIFE IS SO HORRIBLE I WANT TO DIE!'. Sometimes it can mean 'aww crap. Why do these things always seem to happen to me?' My point; Who said this person WAS making a big deal out of this situation (someone besides all of you who are complaining, of course). The way I see it, as we all read these, we laugh. We laugh more than we sympathize, and so, that having been said, this is a wonderful FML because something in your life DID go wrong, and it is something we can all laugh at.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
No, OP DOES NOT deserve it. First of all, it was just a dream, not a real contest. Second of all, we don't know what OP looks like, nor do we know if she is "fat and ugly". You're the type of person who only accepts one type of woman and all others are worthless. You make me sick.
rmay916 0
did nobody notice it says weird dream? no fml at all its a fing compliment