Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML
Today, my little 7 and 6 year-old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied, "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML
Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML
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Top comments
aback 5
So tell your cousin you dreamed s/he was eaten by spiders. And his/her parents were glad.
genius_man16 1
Um, so the **** what? It's a dream. Stop getting your ******* panties in a bunch.
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Comments (91)
Leaveittosteven 0
One time I had a dream that this was some inconsequential shit. I still haven't woken up.
chowyuk 0
fyl not because you are a shitty person not because your cusins dream. 1. for even thinking the world revolves around you and you should win in your cusins dreams. 2. for thinking if you lose a beauty contest that means you won an ugly contest.
bbobe900000 0
#64, FYL for not understanding how this website works. People post stories on here for entertainment. Not because they lost all their money, became homeless, are on a library computer, and are about to be arrested. That was a story on here that I once saw and moderated, because no one wants to read that bullshit. Also FYL for writing sentences that can hardly be understood.
somaturee 0
Today, I had a dream about my ugly cousin. She entered herself in a beauty competition and lost. FML. ;)
notanazi 0
#66, I actually think those are the best stories. Nobody gives a shit that the OP's cousin had a stupid dream. That is not entertaining whatsoever. The person who got evicted, robbed, and then peed on by a bum on the street, however, is a person who has an interesting and entertaining story for me to read om Fmylife.com.
Fierywater 0
You guys we're speaking about weird dreams right? So that means you're hot cause they said "You lost badly" Not an FML
Cazly_420 0
Tick Tock, It's time to grow up on the Life Clock...
BMH73 0
Ydi for having a cousin
rachelbrianna25 0
LOL! NICE! Mirror? Haha.
theblueone4 0
hahaha luckily it was only a dream? not really an FML.
wbrycem 0
Dream FMLs have to be the gayest.