Anonymous
United States
Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Impossible relationship
Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Epipen time!
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Brian
Skopje, Macedonia
Good old gender stereotypes
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
Anonymous
Speak for yourself
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Anonymous
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
jellybean_94
Canada
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Murphy
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
eww
Vienna, Austria
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
babybambi
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Top comments
Big_Red_138 3
I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!
Darcon 8
Noob.
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Comments (146)
ifailplzinsultme 0
easy! call woman and ask for sammich! (preparing for lots of thumbs down)
cumverg 0
If she's a girl, and you're not, then you're perfectly okay. That girl = Future sandwich-maker
taylorisrandom4 0
doesnt matter if its a guy of girl
xo_kat_xo 0
that sounds a bit sexist
bitchy777 0
Agreed, totally sexist. Cumverg is probably just a bitter asshole whose job involves cleaning toilets for "sandwich-makers".
YacL 15
Now she can tell you to get back in the kitchen and make her a sandwich. It was her true intentions all along.
TylersMB 0
yeah its not that hard to use the micro..
soccer4life156 0
what did you make microwave hot dogs?? ;)
sabrinahusic 0
I bet you're one of those people that can't even boil water or make ice. Get a recepie book and practice. Everyone loves a good cook :D
cumverg 0
Nice cleavage
joshisakilla 0
what up sexy;)
YacL 15
What an original pick up line. I better write it down.
sabrinahusic 0
I wonder what 61 said now :/ too bad your comment was moderated.
Pigpen181 3
You need to stick around this girl.....by next week you'll be enhancing you thesis with crayon.
RileyL29 0
chronick89 5
schooled!
brooooks 0
your cousin sounds like more of a women then you are. :p
jennifer93 0
wow sounds like someone was a spoiled kid!
tweetbaby14 18
what does being spoiled have to do with not learning to cook? what if they were taught how and didn't do it enough to have it really hammered into their head? I can admit that I am spoiled, but I still know how to cook because I like to learn new things.
heysteph 2
you unknowingly answered your own question there. op doesn't know how to cook because they didn't NEED to do it enough to "drill it into their head" some may call that spoiled. even then if a first grader has mastered w/e dish they made enough to teach op, it shouldn't require much practice to remember.