ciotter
United States
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
CatofSteel
Today, my cat cracked my phone screen by sneezing on it. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Not Helping
Steele, United States
No napping, only feeding
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
rhya4n
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Herlev, Denmark
Not now, honey
Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
lol
United Kingdom
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Ahhwtf
United States
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Anonymous
Too stupid
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
yuck
United Kingdom
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Chance encounter
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
can't breathe
Australia
Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Top comments
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
YDI for not wearing safety goggles around your cat?
CANNIBALx 0
I think you liked it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
BellaGoBoom 6
if your eyeball is open, you have more serious problems. Go see a doctor r-tard:)
SpideyRules 9
Thank God there's ONE other intelligent person reading this.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Seriously... that needs to be closed pretty quickly. I don't think it should be open like that. Now if it sneezed directly into your closed eye, but opened lid, that would be a different story.
lollipopXx 0
20, I thought the same thing! lol
nybsucubos 5
That sucks OP but truly disgusting
WaylonD 4
This FML made my eyes water!
Peasanthunter_fml 0
Lol if I was into beatiality I would marry your cat!
iliketurdles 7
huh? does people who sneeze in your eye ball turn you on? :/ I think you need to check into a clinic.
doublewide420 0
by the way your cat has feline Hepatitis..
Nickolazx 0
WHAT THE F*CK!!!
sAnChEz_98 0
Awwww omg that is so horrible OP. Your life definately sucks. I can't think of anything worse than a cat sneezing into your eye. Geeze get over it; there a TONS of worse things that could happen!
wolfshadow 4
Seems someone thought they were funnier than yours. just sayin' OP, hehe. When my cat sneezes a bunch of kitty goop comes out, lucky it didn't happen to you. If there was kitty goop I am so so sorry.
courk94 6
Bit Harsh aye ..
CaptainPat 0
are you a crazy cat lady? i've always wanted to meet one in real life... although i think my statistics teacher is one.
MaJiN_fml 2
not a fml
KristinaKreme 0
Wow, FMLs like this make me want to scream. Doesn't anyone remember what FML means? Let me remind you. "**** MY LIFE." Just because a cat sneezed into your eye doesn't mean it's the end of the world and an FML. I'm sure worse stuff has happened to you. People are losing the meaning of this app. It was supposed to be real FMLs with comments of their thoughts saying if they deserve it or not. ~.~ Now it's all about pointless crappy FMLs with Grammar Nazis yelling at strangers! >.<
DocBastard 40
Kristina, read the FAQ and realise the point of fmylife.com. Didi seems to be lurking around here, and as one of the site creators he may (hopefully) back me up on this. If you read back in the FML annals, you won't see very many "Today, my mom was hit by a train. The doctors say she will live, but she lost her arms and legs. FML" The anecdotes are ALL about little annoyances. From the FAQ: "sharing the little things that screw with your day". If you have a life-******* story, then submit it. I can personally guarantee that it won't be published, because people come here to be amused, not depressed.
Sirin_fml 47
Uhh, you seem to have missed the point of the websi-- oh, I'm late. What he said. It's been pointed out, you don't need cancer of the anus for your story to qualify as an FML.
sallen0046 4
Then perhaps it would be wise to change the name of the website to something like "Things that screwed with my day" instead of "**** my life" because life-******* situations are not mere annoyances, and mere annoyances are not life-*******. If I go to a shoe store, I don't expect to find nothing but pedicure tools simply because they can both be used on your feet. If I come to a site entitle FML, I want to see some life-******* posts.
Sirin_fml 47
Once again, it's called "**** my life", not "my life is ******".
DocBastard 40
Then expect to be extraordinarily disappointed on a daily basis.
Zebidee 9
So by that logic, the lemonparty website should be full pictures of lemons having a good time.
k9obsessed 5
and AlbinoBlackSheep should be a bunch of pictures of the so-rare-it-doesn't-actually-exist Albino Black Sheep. Not to mention sites like youtube and facebook, which should have images of the users everywhere for no reason. Or how about hotmail being a bunch of mailboxes on fire? People, really...Stop taking things so literally.
blinkingstarlet 15
nice. good call. lol