Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Cats are assholes
perdix 31
Clever cat, maybe tomorrow she'll learn to use knives and, . . ., dunh, dunh, dunh!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Gpro67 9
One smart pussy
chungyiubear 10
Change them to door knobs then.
Wiringify 22
Exactly what my cat does... At 5 AM... Every morning.
kennaem1 11
That's awesome
Odyy_fml 7
lol is that what you guys call it in america? Lolol. We call it 'knicky-knicky-nine-door'.
MiloBear 11
In my country we call it "tok-tokkie".
Obey_StudBoii 23
My story isn't similar to yours but hear me out. I had a friend once that owned a pet ferret. She couldn't find her cell phone for months, but when she finally did there was a bill for calls being made to China, Japan for up to $1000. If you catch my drift by now it was the ferret making the calls. This is not a lie.
SoultheWolf 19
Put some tape on the doornob, making sure the sticky side is facing outward. That way when the cat jumps up to grab it the tape sticks to their paws and drives them nuts. Shouldn't take long for it to learn to stop doing that. Just make sure that it doesn't stay on it's paws for long.
Lil_Saly_Danzr 10
I love your cat
kevinalan 2
I don't like pets.Neither cats or dogs. They are so impenetrable.
iwadasn 33
It's illegal to penetrate your pets!
viper0hr 7
Camera. YouTube. ??? Profit.