Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML
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Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Cats are assholes
perdix 31
Clever cat, maybe tomorrow she'll learn to use knives and, . . ., dunh, dunh, dunh!
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Comments (98)
whogivesafuck88 10
My cat does that
MakinMills 12
Teach her how to ring your neighbors doorbell :p
Hamz1989 13
What a smart pussy.
megank12 17
That is so freaking cute. It makes me miss my cat, because he used to open doors to. I never went into the bathroom alone with him.
honestjane 22
If I forget to lock the bathroom door my cat will open it and leave me sitting on the toilet with my pants down. Did I mention she pushes it wide open? It's better to have her already in the bathroom so she won't come busting in.
Hazelino 25
- Film it - put it on youtube -make money
theangrypeach 6
reminds me of when my cat learned to hit the play messages button on our landline, yeah... hit button, non stop noise! every day at the same hour... I feel your pain
kennyab 2
Glue thumb tacks to the door handle...he'll stop .
buddy51 23
OP- Just be glad your cat doesn't take the opportunity to fart in your general direction before running away!!
jmar411 12
YDI for having a cat... Dogs rule!
caysters 12
Glad my cat is a complete dumbass... My room is the only safe place I have from her... Lol