Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Cats are assholes
perdix 31
Clever cat, maybe tomorrow she'll learn to use knives and, . . ., dunh, dunh, dunh!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Troll cat
elliott2 3
Your mistake was that god damn cat.
Cysioland 8
One of my cats opens the door to my room and hides under the bed. Even at 3 pm
lockyz 10
Cats are mean that's the reason I lock my door , you should try it after some tries he'll give up eventually
toaster012 17
I want a cat like that...
Chucklikesbacon 12
That is pretty awesome! And if it botbers you, why not just leave the door open?
ReepingHavoc 13
I will take that cat off your hands O.O
annakpok 7
It's knock knock ginger, stupid 'mericans
annakpok 7
It's knock knock ginger, stupid 'mericans
thattallguyfromc 2
my cat just loves to do that when i jack off