Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML
Today, I thought my date last night went quite well, especially when she called me first thing this morning… until it turned out she wasn’t very impressed, and wanted my brother's number instead. The single, successful lawyer, who is 6 inches taller than me, who she saw on my Facebook page. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
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Top comments
ElMachoNacho 18
And he will probably never find that perfect girl, and he will bother you forever :D
carecow 16
I guess your brother aint much of a personality fan, sorry to hear that.
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Comments (86)
MrConcise 35
Be right back, browsing the amateur section of Redtube for my new wife.
Caelophile 8
To be fair, from an evolutionary standpoint, you would want to produce offspring who will in turn pass on your genes. If somebody is considered desirable among the herd/pack/etc, then it's more likely that mixing your genes with theirs will secure your chances of succeeding.
notesz 21
Oh, please.
Demoniq 25
From an evolutionary point of view, your kids may just end up being vapid and stupid.
Forgivings 4
I hope he realizes girls use apps to get likes on their selfies
chillandfun 12
I always assumed guys picked girls mainly based on how they look lol. This is taking it to a whole new level.
RAndEM 9
Apparently you don't share the same brain.
Parvati48 15
O.o What? That doesn't make any sense, on a positive note you probably won't ever get a sister in law to annoy you since he is so shallow. :/
Shade1982 21
No, you don't share the same blood, you share some DNA... Something very different... Sharing blood would be a bit freaky...
kalbrek009 20
Sounds like an egotistical idiot or very insecure.
chosha_fml 27
Vampires.
Pink_panther 3
Never underestimate the power of data driven decision making. We live in a world where people choose partners on apps.