Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
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Top comments
sturschaedel 27
Well, I hope the little guy could still rise to your expectations.
abNormal62 23
His name is "Spike", in the future please use his proper name. Thank you
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Comments (95)
sturschaedel 27
Well, I hope the little guy could still rise to your expectations.
thebakingseal 22
That has to be one of the best jokes I’ve heard
lyricalservant 21
lol i don't think so considering that it's is on fml.
Swandive235 27
Nope, that phrase is a boner stopper.
MetalxSoldier 26
Well instead of getting offended, I hope he was the bigger man.
sunnyskys 25
ha! #48 nice.
starile 20
Bf: *shrugs* Doesn't matter, had sex.
jryan2 16
I assume you know where the door is? Good, go through it..
ZacPalmer 12
If you listen closely, you can hear his confidence running away
Econforthwin 15
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that ended the sexual activities of the day?
Rainbow2Cloud 12
Ah yes I'm sure the boyfriend loved hearing OP refer to his penis as "little guy". I bet it turned him on even more.
sicksadworld1317 30
I sense the sarcasm, 28, but small penis humiliation is actually a thing for some guys. And actually quite fun between consenting and enthusiastic partners, at that.
IAmzephyr 22
#34, I like how you had to specify 'consenting'
sunnyskys 25
okay no one dis on the consenting part. Just think a moment. One of the only ways a girl is going to be okay with you calling her a bitch is if she consents to it, same with a guy and his dick or being called a dick
sunnyskys 25
just ignore my last comment, please.
Thatepicperson 14
What are you doing in mah swamp?!?!!!
zinoxity 23
Ouch, you just hurt his manhood both physically and psychologically. It happens though, don't worry about it OP.
bdsmslave 18
"My apologies, Princess Sophia!"
sstahpp 33
Hahahaha..she definitely lost this guy.
abNormal62 23
His name is "Spike", in the future please use his proper name. Thank you
ranjithbvk 12
ouch
meatloaf11 23
The truth hurts
JBrownie123 24
I hope he managed to laugh it off. I really do.
shemademedoit 20
he can't laugh that off. getting hit down there is like you giving birth. on top of that being called little? that's as bad as it gets
starile 20
#43, because you know exactly what giving birth feels like, right?
shemademedoit 20
don't have to. I hear women complain about the pain all the time
JBrownie123 24
I wasn't on about the being hit in the balls, I'm on about the having his penis be referred to as "little"
SystemofaBlink41 27
I think I honestly would've been too focused on the pain to even care about the comment.
albertozeta_fml 9
Well, maybe it is 3 feet tall like a 5 year old boy.
feven 32
3 feet or 3 inches?
albertozeta_fml 9
Three feet like a 5 year old boy, not like a 5 year old boy's dick! :D
shemademedoit 20
if little kids are 3 inches then I feel bad for men with small penis. he would be kid-dingo
steveykinz0967 16
It's ok OP, if you guys both laugh it off it might become a nice "little" inside joke