Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, I found a video of my fiance staring into the camera while deep-throating a dildo, and then putting it other places. I have no idea who/what it was for, or how to talk to him about this, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his disinterest in me lately. FML
Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
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Top comments
umerin 32
That's talent.
Welshite 40
He just proved "practice makes perfect."
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Comments (97)
rainbowsRlove 15
haha thats funny! hope he only use ****** to demonstrate
itsme82 18
What straight man willingly puts a ***** in his mouth?
jmcr 27
he could be bi...
bobsanction 18
It's basically a ****** flavored lollipop.
zyero 9
Indeed Tis a pussy sickle
SlumMade 13
A man with a point to prove
ACTIONbl00dROCK 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, he does obviously. I hate dumb ass critisism like this. LET PEOPLE DO WHAT THE **** THEY WANT.
khorstmye 15
But what if she used it in her ass last...oh dear god.
US_StormTrooper 2
Maybe one who isn't a homophobe.... It's not like he's sucking a dick, just proving a point that it would physically be possible to deepthroat HIS dick...
Badkarma4u 17
One trying to convince his girl to suck his dick better. Small price to pay.
jaredofmo 22
Unless they bought it to practice with, I don't think gay/bi/pan guys put them in their mouths either. Considering that it was right there, I hope OP has good cleaning practices about her toys. ... That is, if it's a "her."
up_a_tree 15
someone secure enough in their sexuality to prove that even though he doesn't roll that way he is still good in bed
HotFrosty 14
Well, if he's not gay... He should be.
myoukei 31
He'd certainly be able to make some guy very happy with that skillset.....
_ely_foster_ 11
what the hell lol
Cads1 24
And what is his night time job?
pacman490 21
Circus sword swallower
press_start_bro 21
I read this while working out and snorted my water all over myself...
Severefear 7
I can't wait till to see the fml for when he asks for anal.
ToxicTyrael 26
“...to prove it he effortlessly shoved his fist up his ass"
Badkarma4u 17
Maybe OP won't complain about anal.
skye_tbfh 18
I'm disturbed..
WickedPissah71 0
"Geez - I don't see why you think anal is so uncomfortable." Grabs her *****. Again ...
kittycatdex 8
I'm just glad is dt first....
khorstmye 15
After you practice more, I'm sure you will both make some guy happy.