Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, I found a video of my fiance staring into the camera while deep-throating a dildo, and then putting it other places. I have no idea who/what it was for, or how to talk to him about this, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his disinterest in me lately. FML
Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
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Top comments
umerin 32
That's talent.
Welshite 40
He just proved "practice makes perfect."
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Comments (97)
hordriss 14
He clearly has deepthroating experience!
bonermonkey 31
at least he isn't one of those hypocritical assholes that expects you to do it when he wouldn't dream of it?
tylercoffman420 19
i think op is jealous
tamesenicole 27
He been practicing smh
bad_boyfriend 10
Some people just don't have a gag reflex.
Doechi 3
ugh, I know that feeling. I can get a few inches down my throat before gagging, but my SO apparently has no gag reflex. I want that talent ?
KingOfTheLosers 7
please tell me how this is a fml, when both of them are ok with what happened?
KingOfTheLosers 7
The moderators here certainly think every comment to a story is directed to them... And I meant no offense, but was simply wondering. Yes, I know you are going to moderate this one as well, so go ahead.
smidge1987 11
This fml actually had me laughing. Impressed with the op's bf managing to pull that off firstly cos it's not an easy thing to do, and op's response is awesome too haha. I think he deserves some sexy fun time for that. As for all the folks saying check his sexuality, they are prob just jealous they can't pull that off :)
Vlen_fml 20
some people just do not have a gag reflex.