Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months to post a picture of us. He deleted his Facebook instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend was tidying up around the room. I asked him if he'd like me to help, to which he responded, "No, I don't need any help," then added, "Wish you weren't so lazy." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I got a haircut without asking for his permission first. FML
Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend flipped out and told me I was a total control freak, and that he couldn't handle how weird and clingy I am. All I did was ask if his phone was charged. FML
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Top comments
Ninjafriends 1
Say that to him the next time he wants some ass. He sounds like a controlling bastard.
SirEBC 7
It sounds like a "Shut the **** up" would have been in line somewhere within that hour.
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Comments (152)
OregonJeff 3
We should all learn how and be expected to ask for what we want. However, none of us should expect that we'll get everything we ask for. None of us is that entitled or deserving. Super lame FML. FHS for having to deal with your whiny, emotionally-stunted ass.
sacredmclovin21 0
25 way up ther, I know wat you mean dude. You just get so annoyed...
ulicksam 0
Damn i hate it when someone tells me I "have to" delete a picture. I wouldn't either. Suck it up. His lecturing though is something to worry about.
nuhuh 1
That's exactly what I was thinking!
prettyybOmb18 0
How is this a fml?
DocBastard 40
I have great news for you - all you have to do is shove an owl and a raccoon up your ass. They are both natural predators or salamanders. The owl and raccoon should end up killing each other after fighting over the salamander, and you get the bonus of extra protein. Just watch those owl talons. Good luck.
Panzer_Panda_fml 0
Sorry bub I have to say that your story really made me laugh. Even if your life does suck
ShadowZ7 0
are you gay? just wondering... seriously..
KingDingALing 9
Whatever you do, don't eat another salamander through your mouth because then they will have sex inside you and have an offspring. This is what you have to do to get the salamander out... Grab a big stick, make the end sharp, and shove it up your ass. It should stab the salamander and then that's when you pull it out. Then shove that very same stick up your ass so that you die and can't produce any offspring because we don't need anymore retarded people like you.
darkaqua3498 3
jerk
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
follow the path of Lemmiwinks