Today, our cat is in heat. Her male counterpart is sitting outside my bedroom door, serenading her loudly, and has sprayed his piss all over the house, making sure she cannot escape him broadcasting his availability. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML
Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
Today, my cat is shedding her winter fur, so wherever she goes she leaves a cloud of fluff behind. She is also in heat for the first time, so I have to keep her inside – just to make sure that my nice, clean house doesn’t miss out on even a single one of her precious hairs. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ambrily 27
If you don't want this to happen, fix your pets.
mekiswrite 21
Responsible pet parents fix their animals.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
Ambrily 27
If you don't want this to happen, fix your pets.
mekiswrite 21
Responsible pet parents fix their animals.
alex_jaguara 33
pet owners*
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pets are family, fool.
123Puppy 33
You should’ve spayed her.
FML_Fan86 6
You'd have peace and quiet if you spayed and neutered. 🤦♀️
Heather Rose Ziebert 2
Spay and Neuter your pets. Simple solution.
BurnInDemonFire 39
This isn't a "you should know better" mistake, it's not a "whoops, oh well lesson learned" mistake... it's not even a "rookie" mistake. The only way I can think of that an adult human, whether that's you or a parent/guardian, would be this inept is if they were kept completely in the dark about owning pets, and then one day they suddenly decided to get two cats. Seriously, I need to know how you ****** up this badly. Get them fixed before your entire house reeks of cat piss, and you have to live there until you die because no one will buy it from you. Also, adopt don't shop. And get them chipped too. Or give them to a more responsible owner. YDI.
WardenWolf 26
YDI for not spaying / neutering your pets.
ThoughtsofaDame 12
I'm gonna assume you are living at home and spaying/neutering isn't your decision. also you can get urine eliminating cleaners and if it soaked into wood or substrate there are primers designed to seal in the smell.