Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

Today, my boyfriend would not ride in my convertible with the top down because he "didn't want to mess up his hair." My boyfriend is prissier than I am. FML

Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML