Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. He was drunk and won't remember any of this tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years asked his friend to propose to me for him, because he was too nervous to do it himself. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided to propose. It would’ve been perfect, except he did it during my family’s annual backyard BBQ, and his proposal was drowned out by my drunk uncle singing karaoke. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
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Top comments
feldco1 17
Drunk words are sober thoughts? Not sure if it helps at this point though.
AussieChild 22
Hope you slapped them both!
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Comments (120)
feldco1 17
Drunk words are sober thoughts? Not sure if it helps at this point though.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
I think it was probably less, "I want to marry this girl," and more, "SHIT! How do I get out of this situation?!"
MDTeddy 13
**** drinking. I don't drink. Most crap doesn't taste better than a nice cold glass of creme soda. I'd like to drink things that don't screw up your brain and turn you stupid. Even though I would be a responsible drinker I wouldn't bother with it because I can't just drink a gallon of beer and be okay like I can any soda. Drinking always triggers an fml. Does nobody learn from these? Btw, someone with the smell of alcohol on them is not someone you want to hang around.
Jonah171 12
58, you sound like you need a drink.
admitmylife 3
are you sure you don't want a drink? you look pretty thirsty up there on your high horse.
Drigr 9
Drinking doesn't always lead to an FML. Just saying. I've been around quite a few people who got drunk, were plenty socialable, and had a blast without being dipshits.
decidedlyvague 11
I haven't developed any vices in my life, I live in my parents basement, and I realized the only thing holding me back is my inability to take risks, and my avid expenditures on 'cream' soda. FML
StalkerChick 13
58 sounds like he's trying to convince himself not to drink lol
the_smart_way 10
58 - you do know that soda can be just as bad as beer. Worse in some forms, having very high sugar levels is a more detrimental to your health that average alcohol content. A normal human being can happily drink 5 or 6 pints of beer on a Friday night without lasting damage. I'm guessing your from the US, so your soda would be classed as an energy drink over here in the UK, on average these contain 70-150% of your daily intake of sugar, per 500ml (in one case 300% per 100ml), scale that up to 6 pints and that's about 400% rda of sugar. Not that in defending alcohol or anything, it's just that if you're worried about health, soda is a big no.
laurenlovesjb 20
Not the best way to apologize...
mario2012 18
Propose=/=apologize.
itsharkley 8
I love jelly beans too
BulldogHoops 14
Bieber... HE'S RUINING YOUR MIND
Mauskau 36
I love my boyfriend too. Unfortunately his initials are the same as bieber. I can't say I love JB. I love Josh B instead :)
melody309 35
If I remember correctly, she loves Justin Bieber because he came to visit her in the hospital. And even if she just loves his music that much, why does that give anyone the right to bully her? Some of you need to grow up.
CyborgBanana 12
60 - 16 and in love? I'll give it a week...
ObsceneOblivion 4
85- I'm 16 and engaged. Please, give some of the younger generation some respect?
Dairyking 8
87 - Being engaged to someone doesn't mean you know what you're doing. If you're not already pregnant and the two of you do get married, I'll give it until you're 21, at best.
ObsceneOblivion 4
89- I'm pretty sure I'm of sound mind and body. I know what I'm doing. I'm not pregnant and don't plan on being for at least another 6 years, though probably longer than that because why have a kid when I'm still a kid? See, I don't think you can make that call seeing as how you don't know me, but hey, if you want to go off being all judgemental and cynical, be my guest. But having known my fiancé for the best part of 9 years, being best friends with him, and all the shit we've been through together, I'd say we'll last a lot longer than your estimate. Thanks for your opinion though.
melody309 35
85, just because they are teenagers does not mean they don't know what love is. I would not have gotten engaged at 16, but that does not give me the right to judge anyone else for doing so. What she does with her love life affects you minimally, at best, so why do you care so much?
melody309 35
Sorry, I meant to include 89 in my comment as well.
decidedlyvague 11
It's not real love unless it survives college.
melody309 35
It might survive college and then die out. Or they could decide not to go to college.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
ObsceneOblivion- well said :) I wish you all the best, Congrats on being engaged!
snowhitee 6
You know what? Don't listen to any of the people talking down to you! At. 15 I met my fiancé and we got engaged at 18 now were 21 an we've moved in together. We plan on focusing on our career and then getting married and having kids so I definitely believe in you! Congrats and stick it through because you guys will be growing up together so it's a great kind of love.
ObsceneOblivion 4
Awwww, thanks 109 & 110, I've been with him for nearly three years anyway so I have a lot of faith in our relationship :)
AussieChild 22
Hope you slapped them both!
Yinky 6
Maybe they both went to a strip club together for the first time. Being drunk the boyfriend may have thought the girlfriend was enjoying the experience when really she wasn't but hid her emotions well. Boyfriend being happy and drunk says I love you and will you marry me.
AussieChild 22
Highly unlikely. And still constitutes as an FML- what a pathetic proposal!
LaLince 40
it's the only thing to do
Pleonasm 36
Don't wanna know where the ring was...
Inheritance 10
*Cough* penis *cough* oh wait you didn't want to know.. Ok then, my apologies..
allie2590 31
FHL again if her boyfriend can fit an engagement ring on his penis.
RpiesSPIES 27
Alcohol is an inhibitor, though (if I spelled it correctly). Not really hard to get a ring on a... You know. Darn my lack if subtlety.
LaLince 40
alcohol is exactly the opposite of a inhibitor. moron
flipfloperson 5
Would HAVE not would OF!!
n3rdzgotskillz 29
This annoyed me too! FML mods please sort this out!
fordneagles 34
I'm so glad someone pointed it out so I didn't have to.
asleepingbear 8
The more people that see it the merrier
astoryofroses 9
time to find a real man
CharlieeBabiee 2
That's when you tell him. Crying that your pregnant with his child. And then after he freaks out say. Ah just kidding but we're done bye. And then find you someone whose not a jerk. Happy hunting.
CoDHater 9
I fail to see how he is a jerk. He was probably planning to purpose to her when he is sober but couldn't get the courage. So when he got drunk he purposed. Not in the way he wanted to but he couldn't stop himself.
middlecyclone 5
Pretty sure the jerk part comes in because of naked girl beside him. Also, playing the pregnant card is disgusting and never acceptable. It's just wrong.
MissMae93 23
9 - Can you. Please learn how. To. Properly use a. Period?
CharlieeBabiee 2
Aha so it's okay to cheat but playing the 'pregnant' card is unacceptable. Really liking your logic
CharlieeBabiee 2
Can. You. Please. Not. Be. A. Grammar. Nazi. Thanks. Besides I'm on my iPhone, so it adds periods accidentally.
MissMae93 23
39 - It's not me being a Grammar Nazi, it's using proper English. Also, I am on my iPhone as well, next time come up with a better excuse.
Pleonasm 36
She was correcting your punctuation, not your grammar, and she was being very lenient in her correction. You also wrote "whose" instead of "who's," and "your" instead of "you're."
littlehollycocks 0
36- nobody said it's okay to cheat, but come on, lying about being pregnant? That's the most pathetic excuse to get a guy to stay, and it's not genuine if he does try to stay. YOU aren't genuine if you lie to get someone to stay, even if you're going to dump them.
spoilt_ 15
36- Just quit while you're behind. What you had to say was stupid and how you said it was stupid.
CharlieeBabiee 2
Just quit while your behind? Aha funny. The thing is no one seems to see what I was saying they all took bits and pieces of what I said and twisted it into their own interpretation and meaning.
aw3som3sauc3 10
93 Haven't you heard? This is the Internet, where everyone loves to pick fights over petty things, and you initiated the fight by responding. Haven't you seen the" do not feed the trolls" signs? They are everywhere! And even though people are picking apart your comment like carrion birds over a dead zebra, your comment was ill made, and the "oh, I'm pregnant" card is never acceptable, on any occasion. Welcome to the Internet honey, it's a very scary and dirty place, and you will never be as you were before you found it...
sissycullen 4
OP shouldn't stoop to his level and pretend she's pregnant is all that # is trying to say, #
DocBastard 40
Considering you wrote "would of" and "wasn't" instead of "weren't", I'm assuming you were drunk when you wrote this. And now the mods will edit the FML to make sure I look like an idiot.
Pleonasm 36
Hell, Doc, they were all drunk together in one massive naked party and wild shit we can't even imagine happened!
rocker_chick105 31
Thank you Doc. I thought I was the only one that gets annoyed when someone uses "wasn't" instead of "weren't"
Pleonasm 36
The subjunctive form isn't very commonly used in English so I think it's one of the more tolerable mistakes though.
olpally 33
And how did this naked girl end up next to him while he was proposing to you? Hangover part 3? Lol.
chellyX92 8
My wild guess is that he was having drunk sex with the naked chick. His girlfriend walked in on them, he panicked and proposed.
olpally 33
Seems legit, thanks pikachu cat :D
felipe87 2
If he is a member of a hash house harrier running club this would make sense.